Tuesday, December 27, 2016

"I think getting a contact high from kids is great."

- Andy Richter

Monday, December 26, 2016

"An attack on the vapor products is an attack on the freedoms I fought for."

Probably not, but I'm willing to hear your complaint.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

a little beige girl with silk hair and blue veins hiding deep-just-under diaphanous skin.

little brown girl with wool hair and full face and full lips eyes that are almond and round.

James & Lucky Peterson - Daddy, Come Home for Christmas



Friday, December 23, 2016

"You don't marry the man who sweeps you off your feet, you marry the man who grounds you."



Better Things, Season 1 ep. 2


Tuesday, December 13, 2016

that feeling you get when you come home early so you'll have time to do the little bit of work on the truck and bike before finishing your office work at home you find out you have the wrong parts for the truck and bike and you go back to A Z and come home and throw those on and like how much of a difference it made and Mom comes out and asks if you rode the bike to make sure it's back together right and you're like "yeah, I thought about doing that" because it's unseasonably warm but not raining and you need to fill up anyway and you catch up to that lady without her lights on and she calls you an "angel in disguise" and you wonder why "disguise" and you go to wash the bugs off and do the whole bike and get home and lube the chain since it's still warm and the cats are running around and you decide to wipe the wheels down while the chain cleaner soaks in and get finished and figure you might as well RainX the screen/mirrors/headlight and finally finish and decide to leave Her up on the center stand because She looks good clean and go in and wash hands and eat field peas and okra with rice and you STILL haven't gotten to those papers....




Sunday, December 11, 2016

"When you put my name in the computah,

it run red.

It run red."

Sunday, December 04, 2016

Love in High Places - Kimbra

"it's pyrotechnical and it's physical,

the way I'll rock you manger."

Thursday, December 01, 2016

Reading an article about professional athlete organization led to looking up the super-agency that bought a promotion company/league which led to information about the history of agencies which led to that sickening artists feel when they start thinking about how the money/moneychangers

and not the art



Friday, November 25, 2016

Monday, November 21, 2016

Do other people hear gospel music



The way we do reggae?



Are they too busy dancing to notice the message?

the lump


that develops when you listen to "lost somebody" in headphones for the first time,



and for the first time you can really hear it.







Friday, November 18, 2016

while watching a youtube video on comics responding to hecklers, Mike
Epps told a joke and lightning struck so hard that it knocked a clock
off of the wall.

(point taken)

Monday, November 14, 2016


so, I guess I should be talking about the grand exhibition of idiocy from this week past.

instead I'll say:

I am continually impressed with how much more like real people those cast on TV/Film productions look than American.

Maybe, if we're lucky, Brit production houses will start filming in the U.S. and using U.S. actors.

Particularly since U.S. actors seem to be having increasingly hard times getting cast in U.S. shows.

Wednesday, November 09, 2016

Dig if you will the picture


Of you and I engaged in a kiss
The sweat of your body covers me
Can you my darling
Can you picture this?

Dream if you can a courtyard
An ocean of violets in bloom
Animals strike curious poses
They feel the heat
The heat between me and you

How can you just leave me standing?
Alone in a world that's so cold? (So cold)
Maybe I'm just too demanding
Maybe I'm just like my father too bold
Maybe you're just like my mother
She's never satisfied (She's never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry


Tuesday, November 08, 2016

There are many people with "I STAND WITH ISRAEL" signs in their yard in southern Arkansas. I wonder how many of them would be scared and confused if they walked through a Hasid community in Brooklyn.

Monday, October 10, 2016

Righteous indignation remains a very, very powerful drug.

Monday, October 03, 2016

Monday, September 26, 2016

Friday, August 19, 2016

When you are researching stage combat swords,

which leads you to looking up the term "peacebonded",

and that somehow leads you directly to images of Venture Brothers cosplay:

Molotov Cocktease.

Pages and pages of Molotov Cocktease.



Wednesday, August 17, 2016


Southern Children:

say "sir" or "ma'am" in

           a way...

that makes you glad to hear it.

Or is it just that they mean it?



by Topokat.

Saturday, August 13, 2016


Last night (this morning...a few hours ago), I went to sleep somewhat worried about lack of sleep before a big drive.

Today I leave New York City. I have been here 12 years.

Most of the content on this blog either happened here or while here.

It has been a long time.


I have often felt wasteful here.

I have met some people that care deeply about me here. 

I will miss them.

I have stopped dreaming, mostly. When I did dream, I'd been having anxious dreams for a while now. I guess you could say "bad".

Just now I didn't. I'm not sure what the dream was about. Something about being up in front of people and someone singing. It was me and someone else. I do remember, at the end, we were up front with the person singing. She put the mic in front of me and I sang the end of the song with her. 

A good dream. Pleasant dream.

I got up ready to move. 

I'm ready to move.

I guess it's a good day to say goodbye.

Goodbye, NYC.

Sunday, July 31, 2016

"Weddings are basically funerals with cake."

"I'm not the nicest person in the universe, because I'm the smartest and 'nice'
is just something stupid people do to hedge their bets."

Rick - the smartest man in the universe

"because terrorism is a different religion."


Tuesday, July 26, 2016

wire fraud and the hydra

I'm not certain what one can purchase from bein sports,

but someone wanted it badly enough to use one of my cc's without permission.

The City is shiny and tantalizing when you arrive:

parasitic, demeaning, & cancerous when you stay...

then erupts with mad, flailing, vengeance when you when you leave.

all the cards come out

everything is has on you

all flies at you at once

when you finally have a plan, a means to leave.

Because it knows.

It knows it is no longer sly enough.

It knows it no longer has you fooled.

Providence has given you a means.

Your debtors have given you absolution.

It has taken more than its share.

And it may a drop more...it doesn't know how to stop.

it is just an empty belly.

So....it is desperate.

It knows it cannot stop you

From saying


Thursday, July 21, 2016


My mother just asked me if McDonald's or Wendy's has breakfast tacos.

I think I might cry.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

"...learn not to sweat the petty stuff - and pet the sweaty stuff."

the other guy that's not Norman Reedus in ep. 5 of RIDE

Friday, July 01, 2016

Lee Highway

 From I-81

 in New Market, VA.


 head east

 turn left onto 11

 then right onto Route 211

 which, at that point, is called "Lee Highway".

 An exciting drive...even in a 4cyl family car

 (albeit with a with manual transmission).

 The gap will eventually get you to the Thornton gap

 the Skyline Drive...

 some lovely drives there are in Virginia.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Geek pride.

When you hand your mobile device to the repair person and the say, "ooh, this is cool".

Wednesday, June 22, 2016


sweat is Truth.

truth is beauty.

Sweat is beautiful.
That unfortunate moment when you show up for a call and three other people are wearing the same color button down as you.


Saturday, June 11, 2016


I feel the need to go back in time to 2015 and tell British children
that Ella Eyre didn't make "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off".

I think I like, really want to do that.

In real life.

This is LifeAfterYouRealizeYourGenerationHasProduced20YearOlds.

The Swan & The Lake - Silent Morning Joy

Friday, June 10, 2016

A Secret Letter to the World Left Unfinished

I am currently in the process of the yearly cleaning...

And, without announcing it, also letting go...

As part of the progression to Life's next phase.

In doing so, I am finally getting rid of some things from over a decade of accumulation,

over a decade old: from when I first came to this particular over-populated spot on the giant mudball called (here),

with my name and face on them.

And it's a much younger face.

to me.

And I felt


a "way"?

A lump?



Or) All of the above.

You Don't Know Jack

that moment when you suddenly realize the similarity

and possible correlation

between "Joachim",

(its variants),

and "Hakim".

Saturday, May 28, 2016


From: C. Walker, Jr.
Sent: ‎5/‎8/‎2016 5:40 PM
To: C. Walker Jr.
Subject: Confused.

I am currently sitting at a table outside a restaurant waiting for a to-go order.

A woman exited with a beer and sat at another table.

I stood up to make a call, came back and sat down.

While tapping on phone, I realized that she was now sitting at the same table as me...smoking a cigarette.

Aside from the empty table she was first at, all the rest of them were empty as well.


Let it all go.

It's all just metal and glass and plastic and paper and dirt.

Just let it all go.

Once, when I was in high school, I went to the drink machine installed in my dad's office to get some Delaware Punch.

In the process, I dropped a quarter which rolled underneath the machine. I went to some length or another (I believe a coat hanger) to try to retrieve it.

My father, seeing me up to some activity, inquired, and I told that I'd dropped a quarter.

Incredulously, he replied, "well, let it go!"

To understand the import of this to me, you have to understand that my father was the frugal one in the house. You have to understand that he is the reason why I thought it was so important to get it back (all the while viewing him as cheapskate...in that way parents make us in spite of them or ourselves). You have to understand that he said "let it go" in a way that indicated he would have been equally as incredulous to know that his was the influence that had me on my knees trying to fish out a thin, round slug of currency.

I've thought of that moment many times since. It was a striking instance.

Now, were this a lovely tale, you'd read that from that moment on, I learned to let things go that weren't that important.

It is, however, not.

I don't let things go very well.

Maybe I used to...well, I don't think I ever have. In fact I used to pride myself on my ability to keep hold to a grudge, the permanence of my memory.

But I don't now. Things fester, and crust, and fester.
I've hung on to so many things, for so long, that it is hard to get new things in. The only new information that seems to stick are experiences that probably need to be let go.

I broke something tonight that probably cost me few hundred dollars.

It happened. And it was annoying and disappointing.

But then I sighed and shrugged.

and thought about the story above.

and realized that I'd decided to just let it go.


Tuesday, May 24, 2016

The California Cycleway

"The inventor and promotor of the cycleway was Pasadena resident Horace Dobbins, who attracted ex-California governor Henry Harrison Markham to join him in the venture. Together, the two sought approval from the California state legislature, which was ultimately granted (after a first attempt was vetoed) in 1897. The California Cycleway Company bought a six-mile (10 km) right-of-way from downtown Pasadena to Avenue 54 in Highland Park, Los Angeles.
Construction began in 1899, and about 1.3 miles (2 km) of the elevated wooden bikeway were opened on January 1, 1900, starting near Pasadena's Hotel Green and ending near the Raymond Hotel. The majority of its route is now Edmondson Alley. A toll booth was located near the north end, in the present Central Park. Had the full route been completed, it would have continued past Highland Park, on through Montecito Heights, crossed the Los Angeles River, passed Elysian Park, and continued to the Plaza in Los Angeles. The full nine-mile run would have had a maximum grade of 3% and an average grade slightly over 1%. At its highest point, the elevation of the roadway was 50 feet (15 m).
The portion built was constructed almost entirely of Oregon pine and was wide enough for four cyclists to ride abreast, with provision for eventual doubling of the width. It was painted dark green and, at night, brightly lit with incandescent lights. The toll was 10 cents one-way, or 15 cents round trip."


Saturday, May 21, 2016

I Am Love - The Jacksons

if they'd stayed together...they might all be alive...and have their original noses.

the GIRLS, too

and, YES, that matters

someone close to them told them as children that they were ugly as children,


whomever it was,

they were in that house.

You plant pain early enough,

it will sprout,

and take root deep.

Don't tell children they're ugly. Even in jest.

They believe it. It eats them from the inside later.

What you learn when you finally watch Spike Lee's doc about Mike.

Joel Schumacher,

king of Batnipples,

was the screenwriter on

Car Wash (the original)

Sparkle (the original)

and The Wiz (the original that was an adaptation of a play that was an adaptation of a book).


Monday, May 16, 2016

alas. I've fallen down the internet hole again.

Casta paintings

Casta paintings @ wikipedia

I often find myself getting lost in wikipedia.

The same thing used to happen with encyclopedias.

Short attention span - I can absorb large amounts of small pieces of information, but it takes effort to sit and read a long arc of narrative.

(articles vs books novels....pictures help a great deal.)

Monday, May 09, 2016

Katherine Johnson Langley Building Dedication

At space.com

So NASA used to have a separate building for Black computers (people, not machines).

chix R nerdz.

Friday, May 06, 2016

Dear Aspiring Prose Writer,

Do Yourself a favor.

Do The World a favor.

Do not write an entire novel in run-on sentences.

No, no -

Shush. Sssssshhhhhh.....

There, now. There you are...

Um-hm. Yeah, I know the other -

I know - I know.


I know what they said.

"Writer's privilege",

"artistic license".

Mm hm.

I know.

Just -



Tuesday, May 03, 2016

Sunday, May 01, 2016

I'm that insane person that keeps finding $20 bills in public it's not keeping them.

Friday, April 29, 2016

I spent the day hearing INCREDIBLY loud racing motorcycles...

Yet it is the droning, cackling, grating, blaring, slurring cacophony of human voices I'm currently drowning in that has me pining for some form of attenuation.

What Japanese Think of Whitewashing (Ghost in the Shell, Death Note, Int...

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Sitting in vehicle repair waiting room.

Title sequence of telenovela comes on showing persons kissing passionately comes on.

Little girl waiting with father ex, "ooOOooh".

Father quickly says to her "come on let's go outside".

Other gentleman says, moments later, "oh, come on", getting up and futilely searching for another program.

Bonus: None of the glass repair technicians appeared to be willing to back my manual car out of the shop.

that place where someone will vandalize your bicycle,

then steal your catalytic converter off of your truck,

then steal the previously mentioned bicycle

(while the city is recovering from a historic storm),

then steal ANOTHER bicycle,

then break into your car to steal a messenger bag which somebody apparently thought had something of value in it (headshots, resumes, dental records, socks, drawers, a cloth belt and several pens) and your first djembe that really kind of meant a lot to you.

because you are a horrible person who obviously deserved it.


Tuesday, April 26, 2016


An interesting point, I think, on the recently hot-ish topic of representation in Hollywood...


Click through this list of actors in their 60s.

One East Asian man.

Two African-American men.

NO women of color.

(unless there were some Latinas snuck in there I don't know about)

Despite the presence, it's still hard to be "seen".

You know? 

Diurnal Mood Variation

Monday, April 25, 2016

"Death is not noble...

...nor is life."

"The world is not honorable.

There is no nobility, just politics."

 from The Dead Lands

Thursday, April 21, 2016

This is what happens..

when you try to report actual news,

and do actual journalism in America today.


So Prince was found dead at Paisley Park today.



Remember in 2008 when there seemed to be hope?

maybe its just a sign of the times.

Or maybe those of us who wondered just how long someone could go doing EXACTLY what they wanted to and giving everything every time out...

have gotten our answer.

Dearly Beloved,
to those who've found the ladder....


Wednesday, April 20, 2016


The children next door have made a creative change.

Who live in a pineapple under the sea?

"SpongeBob Doodypants".

Friday, April 15, 2016

Friday, April 08, 2016


Delivery guy: "You have nice hair."

Yours Truly: "Huh?"

DG: "This hair is nice hair."

YT: "Oh, thanks. Yeah, it's just hair."

DG: "This hair is real hair?"

YT: "yeah."


Burial - Ghost Hardware

Paddington (2014)

I simply was not prepared for how much I would like this.


Thursday, April 07, 2016

Sbtrkt - Ready Set Loop



Probably not long ago after starting a photo-a-day blog, it occurred to me that it was done largely out of wanting to create something beautiful.

This did not mean I wanted to take pictures of only pretty things, I wanted to create something which, in its whole, was a thing of beauty. Beauty, to me, is contained in not just things, but the presentation of truth.

Several years ago, a friend of mine who does photography told me in a bit of a venting moment that "she just wants to take pictures of pretty things".

It only occurred to me just now that we were at least in some way, talking about the same thing.


Friday, April 01, 2016

It is 2016 and FoMoCo has used a track from the original Das EFX album.

And it wasn't even "They Want EFX".

Dear internet,

When you want to be clear and intelligible, all those rules you didn't feel like learning about grammar and formal writing suddenly become:




Thursday, March 31, 2016

I miss the days when I could come here and have a lot to say.

Or something to say.

Now I just feel too tired to say much of anything...or perhaps I mean care about anything.

(insert something smart and thoughtful here)



Wednesday, March 30, 2016

The Truth About Consumer Culture from Reddit

[–]TheGuyWhoSaid 67 points  
I used to deliver furniture. Sometimes we'd get to a customer's house with their order and they'd change their mind about the colour or something. They's ask us to get the other option out of the truck. Even after we assured them that we only had what we needed for the day in the truck, they'd always insist we look anyway. "Maybe the warehouse guys loaded it accidentally." "Nope. I loaded it myself." "Can you check anyway?" sigh, ok.

  THIS is what happens when people think they've learned how to "bargain" or "persuade" when they have really just been successfully annoying people into submission for a significant portion of their lives.


Monday, March 28, 2016

Dear Manager,

Please, learn to decipher between your "talent".

Thus, will you be able to stop calling me about jobs that I am not going to get to do.


Friday, March 25, 2016

RuPaul on How Straight People Steal From Gay Culture and Why Educating the Youth Is a Waste of Time

by E. Alex Jung

The drag supermodel of the world on how straight people steal from gay culture, meeting David Bowie, and why educating the youth is a waste of time.

RuPaul was born November 17, which makes him a Scorpio — a detail he has said accounts for his observant and analytical nature during interviews. I could feel his gaze settle on me as he sat down on a gold couch at the London Hotel in New York, wearing rectangular black glasses and a suit made of thick brocade in a resplendent print of pink roses. This was not the light and effervescent RuPaul-in-drag the American public has come to know since the release of his single, "Supermodel (You Better Work)," in 1992, but rather workroom Ru: serious, sober, and slightly intimidating. During our conversation, RuPaul, 55, clapped back at critics who said RuPaul's Drag Race used transphobic language, dismissed Spike TV's Lip Sync Battle as a ripoff of his show, and explained why educating younger generations is a waste of everyone's time. Grab your reading glasses, because the library is open.

Congratulations on the 100th episode of RuPaul's Drag Race. With the eighth season, how do you keep things fresh?
We're always inspired by the queens. And because it's like a school, we get a new crop of kids every single year — that's how it stays fresh. This year especially, it's the children's Drag Race. These are the kids who grew up watching it, and their whole drag aesthetic comes from the show. So it's an interesting shift. And we knew this would come if we stayed on the air long enough — we'd see what we produced in the public. And they're beautiful! They're smart. We have to actually work harder to stay one step ahead of them.

Has that given you a chance to take a step back and reflect on what you've created on the show?
You know, I normally don't. I only even entertain those ideas when I'm talking to someone like you, from the press, and they ask me. I'm always looking forward. I do understand we've launched the careers of 100 queens, which is really the most important part of our job.

What are some of your favorite moments?
Because the kids are so courageous and their stories are so rich, they bring such a unique story every single time. I always think about Roxxxy's story when she revealed she was abandoned at a bus stop as a 4-year-old. It's usually their stories that surprise me of how resilient and strong they are.

One of the things I love about drag is that it's an art form about survival.
It is, because each of those kids were little boys, sometimes in small towns, who were alienated and ostracized. And even in the face of such adversity, they prevailed and shine today. So it's a story of strength. That's what the appeal is for the audience. Here are these people who have prevailed and succeeded against insurmountable odds. It's a great story for anyone who watches.

They often say that drag saved their lives.
Right. And I'll tell you why. Because you get to a point where if you're smart and you're sensitive, you see how this all works on this planet. It's like when Dorothy looks behind the curtain. Like, "Wait a minute. You're the wizard?" And you figure out the hoax. That this is all an illusion. There's only a few areas you can go. First, you get angry that you've been hoaxed and you get bitter. But then, take more steps beyond the bitterness and you realize, "Oh, I get it. Let's have fun with it. It's all a joke. You mean I don't have to stick with one look or one whatever? I can shape-shift? Great." That's when you can save lives because otherwise the mediocrity and the hypocrisy is so mundane, it's better to just not do it. I'm not going to say "end it all." But that's why it saves lives. Because for people who are highly sensitive and super-intelligent, it tickles the brain. It gives them something to live for. It's the irreverence. I was the same way when I was 15. I said, "Okay, I'm gonna do this life. But I'm gonna do it on my terms, and I'm never gonna join the Matrix." That's why it saves lives.

Would you say that drag saved your life?
It actually didn't save my life, it gave me a life. I don't think there is a life in the mundane 9-to-5 hypocrisy. That's not living. That's just part of the Matrix. And drag is punk rock, because it is not part of the Matrix. It is not following any rules of societal standards. Boy, girl, black, white, Catholic, Jew, Muslim. It's none of that. We shape-shift. We can do whatever we want.

Do you feel that drag can never be mainstream?
It will never be mainstream. It's the antithesis of mainstream. And listen, what you're witnessing with drag is the most mainstream it will get. But it will never be mainstream, because it is completely opposed to fitting in.

Throughout your career, have you ever felt like you are part of the mainstream?
No. You know, I've never been on Ellen or David Letterman or The Tonight Show, and there's a reason for that, which I don't want to go into, but there's a reason that I've never been thought of as someone who can go on there. Because it makes those hosts feel very, very uncomfortable, especially if we really talked. It would be the opposite of what they're used to. So am I part of the mainstream? No. People know my name, people know what I look like, but am I invited to the party? No, and there's a reason for it.

Would you want to be?
No. In fact, I made a pact with myself when I was 15 that if I was going to live this life, I'm only going to do it on my terms, and I'm only going to do it if I'm putting my middle finger up at society the whole time. So any time I've had yearnings to go, "Aw, gee, I wish I could be invited to the Emmys," I say, Ru, Ru, remember the pact you made. You never wanted to be a part of that bullshit. In fact, I'd rather have an enema than have an Emmy.

The show is clearly one of the best reality shows, so it's insane to me that you haven't been nominated.
It's not insane when you take the car apart and you really look at what the car is. You understand that it can't recognize it, because in doing so it would recognize all of the flaws in their doctrine, in their whole ideology. Drag doesn't conform. It's actually making fun of [conformity]. Now, the talk-show hosts … get it if I'm making fun of myself and if I'm a punch line for them, but not as a human being. They would have a transsexual on because a transsexual is saying, "This is who I really am. I'm real." I'm saying, "No, I'm not real. I'm actually everything and nothing at all."
I'd rather have an enema than have an Emmy.

That's very Buddhist.
I didn't come up with this shit. I studied. It is very Buddhist, and all roads lead to Zen and Buddhism. If you are a seeker and you want to know the answers, you're not the first person to go there. And you don't have to look that far for the answers. They're not encoded in this ancient scripture. It's actually right there in front of you. It's in that flower that I'm looking at right now or that tree over there or that mountain. It's all there.

What do you think of Lip Sync Battle and Jimmy Fallon?
Oh, I don't think of it. It's a poor ripoff of our show. Regular, straight pop culture has liberally lifted things from gay culture as long as I can remember. And that's fine, because guess what? We have so much more where that comes from. Take it! That's why [my new show] Gay for Play is such a fun thing, because we've taken the best of the gay sensibility and put it all in one place. And we're showing these bitches how it's really done. But it's funny how that works, even in gay culture. There's a certain "gay shame." Gay people will accept a straight pop star over a gay pop star, or they will accept a straight version of a gay thing, because there's still so much self-loathing, you know?

They talk so much about acceptance now today and it's like, yes, but trust me — I'm old and I know this shit — it's superficial. Because as soon as the lights go out, you'll see how advanced people's thinking is. This so-called "Will & Grace acceptance" era is just people fucking posing. Things haven't changed that much. You see it in politics right now — that's the fucking truth of people. And you know, people will have you think, "Oh, we're fashion. We're gay. That's my gay over there!" It's like, no. We're still a very, very, very primitive culture.

Gayness is still treated as an accessory.
Exactly. But if we can just cut out the self-loathing, we could get really far.

There's a sense on Drag Race that there's a way to win. With certain judges, there's a value of "fishiness" (a.k.a. looking like a real woman). Do you feel like that is counter to what drag is?
The criteria really isn't "fishiest." It's charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent. And if you got it, if you look at our iconic photo from the premiere, we have a wide variety of girls and, I don't know, are any of them fishy? Being fishy isn't like a home run to win. Because we've had every type of winner, and the iconic girls who didn't win who are still super-duper-stars, they're not necessarily fishy, I would say. They're a character.

Fishiness can be a part of it.
For some, it is. It was never for me. I always did what I thought was interesting. I always just did what caught my fantasy. Looking like a woman, that was never the criteria for me. It was always to do drag. And drag is not gender-specific. Drag is just drag. It's exaggeration.

It's about playing with gender.
Oh, it's poking fun at gender. It's mocking gender is what it's doing. But taking it seriously? No. Because that's what fishy alludes to. Fishiness alludes to the look and feel of "real." For most drag queens, that's not the criteria. Because the look and feel of real is boring.

Last week on Drag Race, you eliminated both queens, Laila McQueen and Dax Exclamationpoint. This has only happened one other time in Drag Race history. What was disappointing about their Gloria Gaynor, "I Will Survive," lip-sync battle?
Because Drag 101, the first song you learn to lip sync to is Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive." And every human alive knows the words to that song, just by default, because they play it so motherfucking much. And it was like, "What the fuck? You don't know the words to 'I Will Survive'? Then both you bitches need to go. I've heard these theories of, "Oh, they planned that." Bitch, we didn't plan that. Did you see the performance? It was absolutely awful.

You eliminated Naysha Lopez earlier this season. Why did you decide to bring her back this week?
Because she's fabulous. She had just left, and I was like, "You know what, you deserve another chance." I've seen all of the kids' audition tapes for many years. Thorgy had auditioned every single year. And finally, this time, her audition was like, "Okay, she's ready." But why did I bring [Naysha] back? Because I wanted to. Because the show's called RuPaul's Motherfucking Drag Race. (Laughs.)
Gay people will accept a straight pop star over a gay pop star, or they will accept a straight version of a gay thing, because there's still so much self-loathing.

Drag has always been about playing with language and taking it apart and blurring boundaries, whereas currently the discourse on the internet is about creating demarcations within language and saying you can, or cannot, say something. What do you think about that?
It's stupid. They're dumb, and it's stupid. If I said, "Boy, I really love corn dogs!" it doesn't mean I actually love a corn dog. Because love has nothing to do with corn dogs. But it's just language. It's a state of mind. You take for granted that my intention is really to express that I enjoy them a lot and I want to eat one right now. That's what it's meant to do. But if you have an agenda and you want to take my sentence apart, you could certainly say, "Oh, my God! You love a corn dog? What do you mean by that? Do you want to marry it? Do you want to put it inside of you?" It's like, "That's not what I meant and you actually know that's not what I meant and you're only using it because you have an agenda so that you could get attention for whatever reason you have."

How then would you interpret taking out "She-Mail" from the show due to allegations of transphobia?
I don't know. You know, I didn't do that. The network did that, and you'd have to ask them why they did it, but I had nothing to do with that.

Did you feel like that was not a battle to have?
Well, the intention behind that word is a portmanteau that was meant as a way to be fun and to enjoy language. I talked earlier about the sweet, sensitive souls who find this world, when they uncover life's cruel hoax. The first stage is anger. Then bitterness. The third stage is laughter and irreverence and understanding that, "Oh! I can have fun. Don't take it too seriously. Have fun with it." So twist a phrase, curl a word, paint on a mustache. We do not stand on ceremony, and we do not take words seriously. We do take feelings seriously and intention seriously, and the intention is not to be hateful at all. But if you are trigger-happy and you're looking for a reason to reinforce your own victimhood, your own perception of yourself as a victim, you'll look for anything that will reinforce that.

How do you view drag's relationship to the trans community?
I think it's a boring topic. I don't really want to talk about that because everybody wants to ask about that. It's so topical, but they're complete opposites. We mock identity. They take identity very seriously. So it's the complete opposite ends of the scale. To a layperson, it seems very similar, but it's really not.

Right. But I mean, it is complicated, too, because …
I don't think it's complicated. Some people take identity very seriously. I don't. I choose to laugh at identity and play with it. I'll wear a suit or I'll wear a sailor's outfit. I'll dress femme. I'll dress butch queen, which is the name of my new album, by the way. I'll do whatever. All of the experiences I've learned and every ascended master you've studied will say the exact same thing: Life is not to be taken seriously. Most people are dumb as fuck. If you look at their voting habits and their eating habits, you realize people are stupid. So we could talk about stupid people or we could just stay with smart people who know how to have fun and not even focus on what dumb people do. It's not worth it. I tell you this as someone who's a smart motherfucker: Don't waste your time fooling with dumb people or trying to figure them out or trying to educate them. It doesn't work. It's a lose-lose situation.

How do you feel drag's function has changed?
The function hasn't changed. It's been the same since the beginning of time when shamans, witch doctors, or court jesters were the drags. Which is to remind culture to not take itself seriously. To remind you that you are not your shirt or your religious affiliation. You are an extension of the power that created the whole universe. You are God in drag. You are dressed up in this outfit of a body, which is temporary. You are eternal. You are forever. You are unchanged. And this is a dream you're having. So don't get to attached to it. Make love. Love people. Be sweet. Have corn dogs. Dance. Live. Love. Fuck shit up. But it's all good. You can't fuck it up because you're eternal.

There's a discussion right now about how TV has become diversified because there are different channels, there are web shows, there are podcasts. Do you feel like there's more opportunity now than there was in the early '80s when you were coming up?
There are more opportunities because there are more avenues where you have a voice. But in saying that, everyone else has a voice too, and everyone else's voice is treated with the same levity as the next person's voice is. So there's a lot more opportunities, but the playing field is so, so crowded. You have to be very, very distinct to really get out there. And when you realize who the audience is and what their intellectual DNA is, it's almost like, Gee, do I want to be the most popular? Do I want to be someone who Betty and Joe Beer Can are not threatened by? Because they're threatened by everything.
Don't waste your time fooling with dumb people or trying to figure them out or trying to educate them. It doesn't work.

Do you think it's true that audiences have become more niche?
Yes, definitely, which is not necessarily a great thing. When I was in clubs in New York, I'd go out every night. I'd go to four to five, maybe six clubs a night, and at all of those clubs, there would be uptown, downtown, black, white, gay, straight, everybody was there. And it was so exciting. And there was no shame. It wasn't like this hostile tension because we were all mixed together. But as the '90s rolled in, people started branching off into their little niches, and I thought it was very indicative of what was going on in the rest of the world. And we're witnessing that in television right now. I think it's a cycle that humans go through.

What do you think changed?
This is my twisted little theory: that because more and more people became narcissistic and became self-analyzed or in therapy, their own personal issues became omnipotent, and they wanted the whole world to know, "My personal issues are important, dammit, and so I need to be around people who understand me." Rather than the other way around, and fixing yourself from the inside out, they wanted the outside to reflect who they are. I'm working on this theory as I'm saying it, but I think the answer is in there somewhere. It has to do with the Me Generation, the narcissistic generation needing to make their environment reflect who they think they are.

How important is history for drag in general? Do you feel like there's a generational gap with these young kids coming up who don't know the original references but they know what has been based on them?
Yes, drag traditionally has been a sampling machine. We have always taken little bits to piece together a bigger story. It's almost like an encrypted message. For young gay people before the 1990s, and forever, we had to speak in code. We had to speak so that we couldn't be found out. And a lot of that came in the form of references, pictures, one-liners, a twist of phrase. And that's the tradition of the young outsider — your tribe finds you once you send out these messages. In the "Supermodel" video we've got the Diana Ross urban legend of the Brewster-Douglass Projects with the Supremes, how they met. We've got Sunset Boulevard. Mahogany was in there where she's looking in the mirror and she puts the lipstick on the mirror. It's all in there.

It's a tradition, and will young people get it? They don't have to get it as much today because it's not like this gay underground railroad where if you're found out, you'll be run out of town. They don't need to have that secret language anymore. But on Drag Race, we still put it in there because it's our duty and our tradition to behave that way. To have little wink wink, nudge nudge references that people who do know will get it.

Do you think it's important for the younger generation to learn it?
I don't know. I don't really care about them. The truth is, they're on their own. They'll figure it out. There's nothing we can do to force them to say, "Look, this is important." Humans don't learn that way. I think about New York, and I had such a fucking great time there. Do I wish young people could experience that? Yes! Yes, I do. Am I going to work it out for them? No, bitch, you're fucking on your own. Work it out for yourself.

There have been lot of LGBT narratives recently: Carol, The Danish Girl. What did you think of them?
I loved Carol. I thought it was a beautiful film. I loved the story. The Danish Girl, I couldn't see past the wigs, which were terrible. I did love that one time where he gets dressed up and looks like David Bowie. He's in a suit that has these huge wide legs, cinched waist, and he's not in women's clothes, he's in a man's suit. It is gorgeous. It's worth watching the movie for just that one shot. Anybody in that David Bowie suit, oh my God, gorgeous.
I don't really care about [the younger generation]. The truth is, they're on their own. They'll figure it out.

David Bowie was a big influence on you. Did you ever get to meet him?
I did, yeah. I was at a dinner party and when I saw he was there, I had to excuse myself into the library of this swanky house. Actually, it's a house that David Geffen owns now, but it wasn't his then. I excused myself to breathe a little bit, you know? Thinking back, I guess he came in there specifically because he knew that I went in there. And he said "Hi" and shook my hand. I said, "Hi, great to see you." And we spoke for a little bit. Then I actually escaped the party and didn't sit down for dinner because I had to go downstairs and let out the screaming and crying that followed.

What does he mean for you?
I talk about the sweet, sensitive souls, the people who are my tribe, you know? And how hard it is to navigate your heart in this plane, in this linear, basic, mediocre, hypocritical world. To find those beacons of light in that darkness is such a gift. And he is that. He still is that. Through his music and his art, how he projected this image out there. And it was never cocky. Part of the rock creed is to wear black and cover up and smoke a cigarette and be exclusive. His wasn't that way. His was always open. That's why my generation of kids flocked to that. Because it was a continuation of the exploration of the '60s and '70s.

Is there anyone who interests you in pop culture right now?
The only person who interests me in pop culture right now is Judge Judy. That's it. Because of the realness — she has kept the story of mankind. There's a certain decorum and civility that keeps our society together, and it has crumbled so much in the past, really, 20 years. But when you watch her during that hour in the afternoon, she has remembered it and is saying, "No! We do it like this." And I love it! She remembers the rules of civility. Because if you've gotten to the point where you need to go to court to figure out what to do, then you've lost your right to be cocky. You need someone. You need a mediator. And she's that person.

You mentioned your upcoming game show, Gay for Play. Can you talk a little more about it?
It's a pop-culture trivia show, where contestants win over $5,000 in cash and prizes with a panel of celebrities who are there to help them answer the questions if they choose to listen to them. And it is hilarious, sexy, cheeky, irreverent. It's the gay aesthetic done by gay people. Through our show and social media, the gay vernacular has been adopted by mainstream pop culture. Every blog is now in the voice of gay culture. Sex and the City was a show that was a gay aesthetic done by straight women. That's what made it successful. And it starred New York City. So we decided to take our gay aesthetic and put it on a game show and do it the way it should be done. These other shows that rip off little bits of our show? Have at it. We've got plenty. You could try to come for us and try to do it. You could never do it the way we do it.

Thursday, March 24, 2016


Oh, that glorious moment,

when you finally get tired of Adobe's crappy, buggy, security holey

and delete it from your computer...



Friday, March 18, 2016

I asked my mother of she'd don't any athletics in school.

I just read the reply: yes, and drama club.

I don't know if she understands that helps me make done sense of myself in the world.

I knew that she and I are both creatives... It never occurred how directly so that is true.

It makes a little more sense today why I am the way I am... And when you're used to feeling different, that's important sense to have.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

That moment when you're sitting across from a maybe high school/maybe underclassman college aged kid wearing black Sketchers (not the cool kind), grey socks, grey slacks with 1 inch cuffs sewn in, a striped golf polo, and a worn ivy league school cap reading the NY Times and wondering what he's listening to in those ear buds.

Tuesday, March 08, 2016


One of the most beautiful things about Louie is his complete willingness
to let what most writers would have take an entire episode and do it all
in 3 minutes.

No unnecessary complication or emotionalizing.





3 minutes.

Or less.

Wednesday, March 02, 2016

"The older you get, the more goodbyes you say."

          Mike Singletary
I am now pretty confident in listing my 4 favorite books in life here-to-fore.

Autobiography of Malcolm X
Autobiography of Mohandas Gandhi
The Clockwork Man
The Parable of the Talents

I am currently very upset that no one made me read PotT Ms. Butler returned to the earth so I could ask all the questions I have...

Experience makes you psychic.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

"When you look at things through rose-colored glasses,

all the red flags just look like flags."


             (from BoJack Horseman, ep. 210)

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Thursday, February 18, 2016


Colloquial hyperbole involving death, destruction ("slayed, killed, destroyed, murdered) or irreversible cessation that doesn't involve actual irreversible cessation is now trite...

Not expressly due to a world seemingly inundated with death
& violence (though, you know, there is that)...

But because it is exactly that: trite.





And particularly so in headlines in text media.

(some of which its purveyors actually contend is journalism)

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

I just turned the ceiling fan on.

The window was already open.

Two days ago we hit below 0F at night.


(insert applicable hashtag here).

Friday, February 12, 2016

While trying to understand the significance of the discovery of gravity waves,

getting to see teachers teaching teachers teaching.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

It is the duty of all to teach.

This requires learning.

The methods of either are varied and malleable.
Courage is defined by fear.

Friday, February 05, 2016

That dream where your aunt calls you, says she loves you

and the two of you sit on the phone for a the rest of the dream without
saying anything else.

Mr. White.

...in memoriam.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

The Beauty of Owning a Small Motorycycle

When you look up and realize that you've waited too late to take public transit...

When you go downstairs and your roommate has parked his car in front of yours and the lady that usually isn't parked next to you IS...

And you look to see if you can fit between them but can't...

(and find out that lady has a broken rear view mirror in the process)

Then you look behind her car and the next one over and see that there's no car in the third space down...

And you realize you can actually get out by going behind the cars to the open spot...

And while moving the items behind her car you notice that oil you haven't recycled is leaking...

And when you go to see if the cap is on all the way it comes off causing a puddle to spill out...

So you have to interrupt the shuffling to lay down ash to soak up the oil...

And you finally shimmy the bike through the space made and let it warm up while putting all of the stuff back behind that lady's car...

And you finally get going and notice the crater in the driveway the snow has caused...

And while gingerly going down that long hill you lock up the back wheel with barely any pressure on the pedal and realize you are at the mercy of the slush, gravity and Jesus' Daddy...

And later, pulling away from that light where you gave the gas just a hair too much goosing in the midst of all that slush still left in the street...


THEN you will truly the understand the beauty of owning a small, competent motorcycle.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Dancing: a graceful rebellion against gravity

- Steve Tobolowsky

Saturday, January 23, 2016

"Everybody gon' get off the path, but the point is to get back on -
forgive yourself and get back on."

Evander Holyfield

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Sunday, January 17, 2016

And one day you will notice school buses and cabs are the same color.

And you will feel dumb.

(end of story)

Monday, January 11, 2016

One wonders if Tara Kyle realized she was talking to someone with a law

Thursday, January 07, 2016

"after you lose a son, you're heart stops every time the phone rings."

Coach Carter

Tuesday, January 05, 2016

"...if you have money, life ends up being the same no matter where you go.

  However, if you don't have money, you learn to live your life according to where you are."

Balsa from Moribito

Saturday, January 02, 2016

"You overacted a little. But In India, only overacting works."

from "Bhootnath Returns"

Friday, January 01, 2016

Do not be what someone else thinks you are....

.... unless you really value their opinion.

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