Monday, March 31, 2008


"You can't stop pain,
you can only bear it until it's gone.
Then, it will make you a stronger person"

JS Foster - Losing the Light

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Carl Nacht's Ghost Bike


'07 NYC Marathon Medal. He'd run in every one from '06 back for 29 years. I guess somebody ran for him this year.

Random Crap

that would be on MySpace if I was ever silly enough to think Myspace was worthy of my phone's camera:

Political grafitti.

A Black History Month Poster in Harlem

One of the new fish tanks in the SI ferry terminal

How published poets get exposure in NYC

The dogs after a several blocks of walking the bike (stupid flat tire...)

Note: "Best of" does necessarily mean "good"
(SWV Video Soul interview - official classic)

Al Green wearing eyeliner

And how many high school bands do you know that have an album?
Rep, dammit.

Mr. Mohandas strolling in Union Square

Is treating a Ferrari like a pair of shoes proof
the inconsequence of money or tackiness?


A vs A-A

One wonders how much has changed in 10 years...

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Sheldon Brown's Blog

I'd never looked at this before.

What blog do you know of that goes all the way back to '75?

Strange thing to see somebody's thoughts up until their last day.


Was only able to sleep 3 hrs. Guess I'll go for a ride.

Friday, March 21, 2008

I just registered

for the tour.

Now I need to get my wack ass back out on the bike.

I just realized I only have 5 weeks to get in the right shape.

The longest ride I've done included some pretty strong thigh cramps.

And that was under 40 miles, though I doubt I'll be pushing as hard as I did that day.

Sheldon Brown

Sheldon Brown is, for better or worse, the internet guru of bicycling. Feel free to run all over the internet for cycling info if you like, but all that will probably just lead back to his site (or links that lay therein).

So, by the time I came across this gentleman, he was being pelted daily with e-mail q's from, like, all of internet-dom. Back in '06 (remember when gas only cost $2.20/gal) I took to trolling eBay for cheap bikes to sell in the city/look for a road bike to keep. I finally came across a good deal that came with Shimano Biopace chainwheels - significant because they are slightly oblong. I read a few things about them and they supposedly gave you a some mechanical advantage at the top of the pedal revolution, thereby providing potential relief for those with tender knees.
Having already been made acquainted with Mr. Brown's site, I looked around there for more info and found that he, in fact still rode using these long-discontinued components. At long last I finally had a legitimate question to ask the master (not that I'd been looking). I sent him an inquiry (more than likely convoluted in its wording) asking if there was a particular technique he used when pedaling the Biopace.
His response:

"Just ride".

Well, I'd been blessed with a response by the master. Although I'm pretty sure I took some time wondering if the brevity of the response was an indication the depth of his consideration - or the level of dumb inherent in the question....

Well, while looking up info on tires, I came across a reference to Mr. Brown that made it seem as though he was no longer with us.

In fact, he passed in Febuary. Heart attack. He was only 63. I had no idea that he'd been diagnosed with multiple schlerosis.

This information makes me that much more determined to participate in this year's 5 Boro Bike Tour.

I think I've finally become accustomed to the idea that I've been here long enough for people I know leaving this plane of existence to not be an entirely unique experience.

One thing I can certainly say it's teaching me is that

there is NEVER

So why not now?

Thanks for the help, Mr. Brown.


Monday, March 17, 2008

I am increasingly

aware of my fetishes.

And, I think,

progressively less subject to them.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Revision a:

One's dreams and one's skills don't always lie in the same bed.

Revision a:b

One's dreams and one's skills don't always rest in the same bed.

(I'm trying to find the right fulfillment of the metaphor...)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I am currently in a play

that I don't exactly like,
that I'm technically not supposed to be doing,
with a backstage that doesn't quite jibe with my personal philosophy
and a stage crew that is fairly non-existent,
(although, we found out this past weekend that things seem to happen better
with fewer people back there anyway),
in a space where I have to compete with weekend birthday parties,
(at what point will multi-use spaces start scheduling events so they don't interfere with
each other?),

but I look forward to it.

The play no longer feels like it takes 3 days to finish.
I actually seem to enjoy figuring out how to work around the audience participation.
(it's also nice to have been the one in the cast who knew what to expect from the Black Theatre Audience Experience).

I decided to try the after-school program and a gig at the same time to see if I could maintain the energy. I expected to learn more working with the kids. Well, to this point I feel like the most I've learned is that I may actually have the need to act that elder actors have spoken of. I think this is the first time I've ever been in the middle of a project - the beginning to me, really, since previews first started last week - and I'm already hungry to work after this project is over.

I've felt the need, but I never expected it to grow.

All this when I was very resigned to going back south - and comfortable in that resignation.

Being here requires justification. If you're not here and actively doing something, it wears on you.

There's a part of me that doesn't want to be one of those people who exist in New York just so they can act, be a part of the "community"; but I can't deny that is part of the draw.

Whenever I leave here, it will be one of the things I miss. Maybe I'll be fortunate enough to find it elsewhere. I'd want it to be born out of the creation of something that was necessary -

Not just because I missed having people clap.



I need a hug.

There. I said it.


Though I'm suspicious of the precision of this report,
I will nonetheless use it's prospect to propose substantiation
of my position on the over-sexualization of today's youth.

(well, American society in general, really)

(or something like that)

Sex is used to sell EVERYTHING to us,
then we're told it's wrong,
(but get as much as you can *wink*)

Now you got a bunch of confused gals with the clap.

politico-pseudo-prudism isn't the answer
porn-osity isn't the answer.

For something that seems like it should be so easy to come by,
normal sure is hard to find.

Monday, March 10, 2008

I am not your


or other current/future spelling varied for justification's sake...

I have no appreciation of the pimp...

And any possibility of being a player has been undermined by my inability to wield any 'semblence of game.

Now, if I would ever become brave enough to say the above to people of the same sex and similar anthropology as me,

I might actually believe it.

Forgot to mention,

Ralph Carter came to the opening Saturday night. He appears to intend to nominate it for an Audelco.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Posting in Ingles

Has the number of non-english Blogspot bloggers increased this much, or did all the english-typers just go to Facebook and Myspace?

Who actually reads blogs on Myspace?

Dreamtime Is a Mutha

Strange dream just now.

Current FF, who I've suspected of being desirous of more than that, is staying over at house - parents house for some reason.

(skipping ahead)

Attempts an oral act - at which point I fall asleep (in the dream)

I wake up, and of the acted-upon member has been removed* (though healed and still capable of being acted upon).

(skipping ahead)

I confront FF and end up slamming FF face-first into certain fairly stationary objects like the wall, floor.

I leave FF upside down where she appears deceased.

Time shifts to the late 19th, very early 20th century. FF reappears talking to (a woman who is apparently runs the house as my family is apparently wealthy in this dream). I take from what I see that this was all just an attempt by FF to get a raise.


*I checked, it's still there.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

In celebration of

Black I-Hope-You-Learned-Something-Now-What-? Month,

I present the only one of these that has mattered. (thusfar)

And the text...
(certain musical elements have been removed for the sake of clarity)

Well, today's topic, self destruction
It really ain't the rap audience that's buggin
It's one or two suckas, ignorant brothers
Trying to rob and steal from one another
You get caught in the mid
So to crush the stereotype here's what we did
We got ourselves together so that you could unite
and fight for what's right
Not negative 'cause the way we live is positive
We don't kill our relatives

Pop pop pop when it's shot who's to blame?
Headlines, front page, and rap's the name
MC Delight's here to state the bottom line
That black on black crime was way before our time

Took a brother's life with a knife as his wife
Cried cause he died a trifling death
When he left his very last breath
Was I slept so watch your step
Back in the sixties our brothers and sisters were hanged
How could you gang bang?
I never ever ran from the Ku Klux Klan
and I shouldn't have to run from a black man cause that's

Funky Fresh dressed to impress ready to party
Money in your pocket, dying to move your body
To get inside you paid the whole ten dollars
Scotch taped with a razor blade taped to your collar
Leave the guns and the crack and the knives alone
MC Lyte's on the microphone
Bum rushin and crushin, snatchin and taxin
I cram to understand why brother's don't be maxin
There's only one disco, they'll close one more
You ain't guarding the door so what you got a gun for?
Do you rob the rich and give to the poor?
Yo Daddy-O, school em some more

Straight from the mouth of Wise and Daddy-O
Do a crime end up in jail and gotta go
Cause you could do crime and get paid
today And tomorrow you're behind bars in the worst way
Far from your family, cause you're locked away
Now tell me, do you really think crime pays?
Scheming on taking what your brother has?
You little suckers.. you talkin' all that jazz.

It's time to stand together in a unity
Cause if not then we're soon to be
Self destroyed, unemployed
The rap race will be lost without a trace
Or a clue but what to do
Is stop the violence and kick the science
Down the road that we call eternity
Where knowledge is formed and you'll learn to be
Self-sufficient, independent
To teach to each is what rap intended
But society wants to invade So do not walk this path they laid.

Ms. Melodie
I'm Ms. Melodie and I'm a born again rebel
The violence in rap must cease and settle
If we want to develop and grow to another level
We can't be guinea pigs for the devil
The enemy knows, they're no fools
Because everyone knows that hip-hop rules
So we gotta get a grip and grab what's wrong T
he opposition is weak and rap is strong

Doug E. Fresh
This is all about, no doubt, to stop violence
But first let's have a moment of silence
swing Things been stated re-educated,
evaluated THoughts of the past have faded
The only thing left is the memories
of our belated and I hate it, when
Someone dies and gets all hurt up
For a silly gold chain by a chump;
Word up
It doesn't make you a big man,
and to want to go out and dis your brother man,
and you don't know that's part of the plan
Why? Cause rap music is in full demand.

My name is Just-Ice a man not a prankster
I was known... as the gangster
But believe me that is no fun
The time is now to unite everyone
You don't have to be soft to be for peace
Robbin' and killin'and muderin is the least
You don't have to be chained by the beast
But party people it's time I release!

Aaayyyo here's the situation:
Idiocy Nonsense, violence,
not a good policy
Therefore we must ignore, fightin and fussin
Hev is at the door so there'll be no bum rushin
Let's get together so we don't be fallin apart
I heard a brother shot another. It broke my heart
I don't understand the difficulty, people
Love your brother, treat him as an equal
They call us animals uhnn uhnn I don't agree with them
I'll prove them wrong,
but right is what your proving them
Take heed before I lead to what I'm sayin
Or we'll all be on our knees, prayin

Yo Heavy D, deep in the heart of the matter
The self destruction is served on a platter
Makin a date not failing to aniticipate
They got greedy so they fell for the bait
That makes them a victim, picked then plucked
New jack in jail, but to the vets they're a duck
There's no one to rob, cause in jail you're a number
They never took the time to wonder about

Yes we urge to merge we live for the love
Of our people the hope that they get along
(Yeah, so we did a song)
Getting the point to our brothers and sisters
Who don't know the time (boyyyee, so we wrote a rhyme)
It's dead in your head, you know,
I'll drive to build And collect
ourselves with intellect,
come on To revolve to evolve to self respect
Cause we got to keep ourselves in check
Or else it's...

Self Destruction, ya headed for Self Destruction
Self Destruction, ya headed for Self Destruction

Monday, March 03, 2008


You mean BETJ has an entire show dedicated to films from the continent?

I didn't even know I got BETJ.

In other news: pork really does suck. I thought I was getting shredded chicken...guess I know what "carnitas" means now....


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