Sunday, October 30, 2005

Ladies, if you use this, please keep it to yourself

I recently came across, a site that chronicles mankind's inventions (not burdensomely geek intensive at all).

While perusing it I came across this.

More "mature outlook to basic bodily function" notwithstanding, let's hope commercials for this don't turn up during daytime tv in the US.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

My father is a deacon

and (if I remeber correctly) that makes my mother a deaconess.

I wonder...

does that work in reverse?

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Monday, October 24, 2005

Astroworld is Closing?!!?

Again, nobody tells me these things.

The last time I rode a roller-coaster was AstroWorld. I went with Leslie. I would call it a date, but I was busy doing my annoying little brother thing. More like two twenty-somethings out sweating giving themselves neckcramps with pre-teens because there was nothing better to do.

The tube slide at WaterWorld was the jawn.

2005 sucks.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

The f#$2?!?!

I accidently surfed past the 10th Annual Soul Train Lady of Soul Awards* on VH1 just know. Toni Braxton was "performing" (a fairly transparent job of lip synching 0 but it is Soul Train) some new song that she's hoping catches on. During this, she's holding her pinky aloft to emphasize some point contained in the song (stop trying so hard - it's all negated by the fact the you're LIP SYNCHING). Near to her was some dancer in mime makeup who obviously had not been trained in that par-ticular form of clowning.
But that is all ancillary information. The main point is this:

what the @$%@% was she wearing?

Toni, you got your figure back. We get it. Please, move on. Sing some songs that don't suck and get over your self (prolly in reverse order) and maybe, just maybe you'll become relevant again.


*Could not the "ladies of soul" be covered as part of the main Soul Train Awards? And why are there still the Soul Train Awards? Does Shamar Moore even still watch it? Doesn't VH1 already have it's own "soul" awards show?

(incredulous look, wait for answer...)


Thursday, October 13, 2005


When I get home I should two fresh boxes waiting for me to tear into. Some shoes I ordered (Tiff, I really do mean to keep them but I can make no promises - I demand perfection) & a spanking new DVD Burner. Not only will I be able to watch DVD's again, I'll be able to pirate them as well! Yay, capitalism! Mad shout-outs to Barbie Doll (the Mom Wonder) for financing that particular electronic purchase.

One can only hope that I'll enough sense to not spend all night installing a DVD burner while breaking in new shoes. I got to get up and work again tomorrow, albeit later and much closer to home.

(big cheeze)

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

A 64 year old man covered in and lying in a pool if his own blood,

and they cops pleaded not guilty.

I wonder which one is going to take the responsibility for erroneously claiming he was drunk.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Teaching is, apparently, hell.

All three of my close friends who are currently teachers are now actively seeking other emplyment.

Their first complaint was the other teachers, then administrators and finally the kids.

The Afformentioned Recantation...

Last Tuesday, I had a rehearsal at a theater near Times Square. I worked in the Bronx that day, so I had to find a way to kill the couple of hours between getting of the train from work and the beginning of rehearsal. I went and got a burrito in a bowl, but that only killed an hour. So, I decided to partake of my most recent in-city passtime: playing Madden 96 on my iPaq (something your ipod cannot do).
In order to do so, I needed a place to stand still. I chose a subway entrance at the corner of 8th and 44th. I felt strangley conspicuous standing there. This is generally in keeping my habit of being places I shouldn't.
After a few minutes of standing on the corner of this busy NYC street at 7 p.m.-ish on a Tuesday with rabble of locals and touristy types going to see gen-u-ine B'way shows and get gouged at the local eating establishments, I noticed a woman walk up and stop at the corner of a building a few feet away from where I stood. She had on a mini-skirt, high-heeled riding boots, irridescent little purse with cellphone clipped to, a bit weavey and a mite make-uppy.
I continued playing (tearing the through the 1996 NFL season with a furious airborne attack). After watching her scan and walk back and forth for a moment, it began to occur to me that this was indeed a prostitute. I was trying to figure out if whe felt I was in her spot (because, as a little brother, I tend to assume I'm in somebody's way). One might suggest that she was wondering if she should proposition me, but I assure you that there's something about me that let's people know I hate anything remotely fun. I can't get NO action at the club. Um, anyway...
There is a young Central American-looking man that passes us heading toward my left. Without much intent she walks toward the direction he did. She then returns to her spot. The young man returns past her and they almost catch a glance. He continues and she again walks in the same direction, this time with slightly more intent. Realizing the opportunity, I hesitate not in persuance.
At first they maintain distance, but the lady makes ground up on him without particular exertion. They are now walking together as though they are acquainted, and I continue in pursuit maintaining enough distance to not be noticed (yes, I am purposely trying to make this sound like a nature documentary; feel free to assume the narration is in British accent).
They turn right on 43rd. I just barely regained sight of them after turning onto that street when several men in bulletproof vests come from a parking lot betwen buildings and, without great effort or fanfare, pull the young man over the side of a building to arrest him. The alleged prostitute is escorted by one man across the street toward a school.
I continue on down the street wondering if anyone besides me has noticed the sting that just took place.

the further adventures of me in the city...

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

I must remember to relay the recount of my having suspected that I was standing next to a prostitute on a corner near Times Square on the still somewhat seedy side....

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