Thursday, July 13, 2017

   I have, at times, wished I could go to sleep and remain that way until things made sense.

   I am currently making my second attempt to read the Qu'ran. It is not going well.

   Yesterday I realized the sensitivity in my armpit is actually a significant swelling, presumably of the lymph nodes. I am also currently congested...strange for summer.

   I have an ant bite on m right forearm (same side as swelling) that won't go away.

   I'm sad that a kitten was killed here weeks ago and that it's mother disappeared without me getting to say goodbye.

   I'm disappointed that the Superwoman I've known for a lifetime is slipping past her superiority. This not a feeling I feel justified in having, but it is there. If I'd been around more, maybe I could have encouraged her more before now....maybe we'd all be different.


   I feel betrayed by a person I wanted to give a chance.

   I feel I've lost the energy to argue, particularly if there is no logic.

   Five years ago this February, Travon Martin was killed by someone with no right, duty or responsibility. Since, Black people have been being shown of just what consequence they are to the power structure of this country. It is witness the fear and vengeance ingrained in this working class males of European ancestry in the country. It is truly, truly amazing to see how deeply indoctrinated and socialized this country is.


  Perhaps I would have been fine being young in the 50s-60s. As for now.....I regularly wonder where might be a good place to go to live out this existence.

Maybe my view is just too short. Maybe next year will look as different from this one as 08-12 looks from 12-(now).

For the first time ever a few weeks ago, I visited the Monumental Earthworks in Jackson Parish, LA. I felt something there. It feels disrespectful that a highway was built through and part of Mound A was destroyed to build it. I know I am not these people. Perhaps these people would have seen me as a threat. I wish those people were still here. I left finding it poetic if the indigenous brown people still in existence moved north to take the place of their distant cousins.

Again, I have no illusions about my inclusion in that.

 To the best of my current knowledge, none of the above is hyperbole.


Wednesday, July 12, 2017

looking at Sonnet 18.

just, for the fist time ever,

noticed the similarity between the words





Sunday, July 09, 2017


"…only developed countries take the environment seriously.


Poor countries couldn't care less."

Tuesday, June 27, 2017


While reading this and imaging what it would have been like were I in that professor's class and just how many epithets I could rattle off, it occurred to me that Black, female classmate of mine had been being called by an epithet as a nickname by classmates with no repercussions.






I think, at the time, I thought it was her father's name. That was something we did, although I don't think we started doing that until high school….



At any rate – there were never more than 5 Black kids in that class at that lab school where there was only one class per grade…



And I just realized that happened.



In the same school where, in 7th grade, the basketball coach, the PE coach (and maybe our grammar/history teacher) read  Brer Rabbit in blackface.



At the private lab school….which I assume would have been considered progressive compared to the public schools.





Friday, June 23, 2017

the limt.


  that's what happens when you overtighten your djembe.


Thursday, May 25, 2017


"they tried to bury us.


They didn't know we were seeds."


(Mexican proverb?)

Tuesday, May 23, 2017


so, One of those large updates are in order,

but it ain't hapenning.

Instead & in short:

taught college for an academic year,

and ONLY an academic year.

finally spent that long period of time at home,

free of credit card debt, but unsure about future plans,

still a bit alone.

currently off the wagon with sugar, beef and eating at times of the all night.

also got my first prosthetic tooth a couple weeks ago.


at this moment: thinking about whether live-performed machinma is theatre and how that could have been introduced into my syllabus.

actors performing 3-d rotoscoping live?

surely someone has already thought of this....

Thursday, May 18, 2017

"It's like I gotta wash that brain…I gotta slap the society outta you."




  • Alicia "The Empress" Napoleon


Wednesday, May 17, 2017

"A man's got to get up and do something every morning…it's got to be  pleasurable to you and enjoyable to other people."




The Motorbike Show


S1: E4

Saturday, May 06, 2017


"Writing is the process of reducing a tapestry of interconnection to a narrow sequence."





Ted Nelson

Wednesday, May 03, 2017

Just humble. No brag.



As of today,




for the first time in about 18 years,


have personal credit card debt.





From today on a country road:


"I'm too sensitive to be a human."





Thursday, April 27, 2017

Eye docyor.



Pipils dilated.


Can't see what I'm typing.







Saturday, April 22, 2017

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

break fast.

Time off makes me fat.

And makes my back hurt, too.

I am unhappy when I can't ride.

Rain is mean.

Sunday, April 09, 2017

Filed under " Things it never occurred to you to wonder if you'd ever see in North Louisiana".




Friday, April 07, 2017

Thursday, March 30, 2017

It's a strange moment when you realize the process shifting places in the mother-child relationship.



I miss a little bit when she used to tell me over the phone how to work from the DOS prompt.



Friday, March 24, 2017

Monday, March 20, 2017

Just now, while cramming lines while listening to " Light Pattern" by Bonobo, I had the sudden urge for a Vietnamese sandwich in Philly.


I wonder how long it will be before Spring no longer makes me think of the east coast.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

do the scary thing first, then be scared.

lemony snicket

a series of unfortunate events


Sunday, March 05, 2017

Thursday, March 02, 2017

Despite all the many trips I have made around the sun,

I am still in search of somewhere to be.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Monday, February 20, 2017

I am currently having one of those moments

     where I wish someone I will listen to

Who I care about what think of me

      will tell me to stop do what I need to do

And stop being lazy

        because I've gotten comfortable again

Friday, February 17, 2017


"Fighting for what you believe is worth it, even if you might not win."



  • Ed Koch, from The Moth Radio Hour: Prosthetics, Boot Camp
Skurken - Rafting ( Gilsbakki )
"Beauty is not natural, it's always conditioned."

Chris Santo Domingo Chan

"100 Years of Beauty: Philippines - Research Behind the Looks" (YouTube)

Sunday, February 12, 2017

That awkward moment when the kitty cat offers you her...

(no....thank you?)

Thursday, February 09, 2017


"Religion was created to create a relationship with the unknown."



  • Tina Packer

Wednesday, February 08, 2017

Monday, January 30, 2017

What happens when Sister asks what you want for dinner and you say "turkey necks".


"you are so full of love"




('even if you don't want anybody to know it')


"I've never met anyone like you."



"You are going to change so many lives."



"You are a king."








Friday, January 20, 2017

"Can I ask you a question?"


"I never ask people this, but, are you gay?"


"You better go then."

Monday, January 16, 2017

'We must speak from our own, personal experience and fears when we have these conversations…




The big-word, college/grad school/I-Wrote-A-Book conversation have their place, but that's not the type of conversation needed with "normal" folk…'




(culled from Tori's second talk on Girls/Boys)  


"What do you want to ask from your own experience?"


Friday, January 13, 2017

'Denying boys the ability to express their feelings knocks out their ability to repair relationships.'

'The world is run by professional self-interest.'

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

I'm tired of just being ready for things to be over.

Though I'm sure it's a sensation of my own creation.

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