My mother should have been an artist.
I'm still ring to find a way to tell her she still can be.
I'm still recovering, so this will be brief.
I just realized I've had another firm smack from life saying "accept gratitude".
Last night I went for a ride. It was a bit cool, but not bad and only should have been about 40 miles round trip.
I headed out, had a fairly glorious time, found some places to go back to. However, I was Waaaaaaaaaay in the woods and it was getting progressively colder. There was a place I could have stopped and begged mercy, I didn't.
In short I shuddered for an extra 30/40 miles back to campus.
I also ate some microwave food. Boo. People were getting on my nerves in the house. I bitched. Karma.
So I passed out knowing id feel It in the morning. And I did, just fatigue though. I watched some flix and got up to move things into new apartment.
I did not eat.
As I did this, I met my new roomies. They are fine folk and offered to help with bags. I let them take my two crates.
In the interim I started to realize I hadn't eaten and the sun was bright, but I kept chugging. I finished taking everything else out in one trip.
On the way into the new place, one of the roomies offered again and I said not thanks (they were cooking), then other offered again and I sad no.
THEN I was offered food.
I said no.
Not long later: sugar crash. Probably with a touch of sunstroke.
Had I just said "yes". I probably could have been productive for another 3 hours today. It did lead to some thought about art, though.
I hear pain is good for that.
During the drive yesterday. I listen to a podcast about a young guy who wanted to be a coal miner. And they got me thinking to some things I've been thinking about the 4 about people who actually want to call mine and why you would want to make the choice to do something dangerous and dangerous to the environment. It seems to me that some of the people who want to do that with some of the same ones who always wanted access to natural beauty. And it didn't make sense to me.
And while thinking about it yesterday. I think it occur to me that there was something this are old and physical about that desire. There was a need to do something where you actually felt a change in yourself or filter change and something else. And in that moment, it seems similar to why I chose to act because I needed to do something that was physical that was a physical act instead of just mental encerie, which is my habit.
Well, just now while driving through central Pennsylvania. I started to think about why somebody would want to be a coal miner again. I think the thought came back to me because I saw a city named Frackville. And. I got to wondering again. Why would people do something that they know destroyed permanently destroyed a piece of the earth? How could you be OK doing that? Judic Oertzen me that also common among those people is a no fundamental Christian belief that there is a here. After that there's a heaven and that there is going to be in Armageddon and the Raptor.
And maybe what's going on is that they don't give you the consumption of the Earth as an Ender. Even the destruction of the Earth as an end because they believe there going somewhere better regardless.
And there is a fundamental difference between him and what is common amongst I suppose common amongst other people who are very much into environmentalism in and conservation is that their those people think in terms of the planet. Existing continuing to exist for millions and billions of years. I assume they also tend to not think in terms of Armageddon or Rapture. They think in terms of something that needs to stay for generations to come and that being nice to be able to sustain generations to come.
For the people who want to call my drill oil land. Do all these other things that is permanently utilizing the resources maybe they just use the entire planet as that just a resource. Nothing put here for them to use and simply a thing that will be gone. Once they are going on to something better.
Or something like that.