Saturday, June 30, 2012


 I was spending quality time with Lati in Central Park and she attracted the attention of Allow who seemed a bit compelled to dance. It didn't take her long (RocketPop tinted mouth and all) to give in.

She passed by at a moment when we were resting, looking back expectantly. I felt a bit disappointed that I was not in the midst of something for her to move to, her reluctance to leave apparent in her father having to beckon authoritatively.


Perhaps the next visit will result in enough courage to go sit in the drum circle.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

I was just prepared

to lunge and keep someone from jumping the point of
flinching when he seemed he might be moving to kick a leg over the

I think I finally get

why my father planted peas despite owning an insurance office and
mother continues to need to pull weeds and sow seeds to this day.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012


Last Tuesday/Wed, I spent all night preparing and audition video for a theater in a certain large, midwestern city. This included having to learn a couple rap songs (not something I generally do).

When I say all night, I mean no sleep - despite having a callback and a rehearsal later that day.

I was tempted to give up and submit what I had without putting something more polished together, but I really wanted a shot at this job.

So, it was submitted and I tried to go on the rest of the day not thinking about it. Before the day was even over, I'd gotten word of the callback.


This meant learning two additional songs - one of which was to be sung. This is REALLY something I don't do. This seemed challenging at first, but I was surprised how much I enjoyed working on it.

At about 6:30p Friday, I get an e-mail from said theater that there has a been a "development in the process" that may affect them having the callback.

Over the weekend, I try not to think about it. I did, however, not work on it with the same fervor.

On yesterday afternoon I got the confirmation that, though theyenjoyed my video and the effort put into it was appreciated, callbacks had been canceled.

I was fine with that. Things happen. Plans change. I don't even believe it when I'm hired until the first day of rehearsal.

The message went on that a local actor had been found for the job.


This didn't bother me too much. In what was supposed to be a bit of making light of the situation, I went back and forth over email with the agent that submitted me.  I and this agent have had a period of not getting along. He has a certain way of expressing himself that can be taken as, well, antagonistic. I'd decided to just not take it personally, but that I also should remember to limit my converation with him to amiable professionalism (as such with all in the biz, actually). I made the mistake, in this instance, of not letting the issue rest. Though we didn't disagree, he was more upset with the reason for cancellation than me. Thinking about the valid points he made (and making the mistake of mixing myself up in the bitter), I agreed.

Then, having gone to a rehearsal for a show that I should have bowed out of, I began to think about it more.

And I got angry.

Angry that so much of my time had been dedicated to just trying to be seen, only for them to decide on someone they knew. They should have just gone with that person to begin with or, at least, give me chance to compete for the job in person.

At the end of the theater's message, it was mentioned that I'd be kept in mind for future productions at the theater by this plays writer.

Not other productions? Just those by this writer?


you know what?


#### it.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Latest theory

We have a finite amount of energy....we must choose what we will expend
that energy on.

(there was something more concrete about this yesterday....what I get for not typing then)

Truth is a state of energetic productivity. To function one needs
energy. Being in a state of truth (expression, facilitation) creates

Untruth is a consumptive state. Propagating untruth, participating in a
circumstance stemming from lies or some state of untruth uses energy.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012


It's interesting to have someone appreciate your expression to the
degree that are compelled to want to share theirs with you in the same
moment - like something that they are actively trying to sell, that
they feel is worthy of paying for and indignant at the prospect of
someone being of the opinion that it isn't.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

I am hilarity.

I think I'm going to tape myself rehearsing for auditions from now on.
My futility is hilarious.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Com Truise - Fairlight

Intense. Delicious.

intense delicious

Sunday, June 03, 2012


So, I'm watching "Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman". On the wrap for the time travel episode,he says that "life is short and time is precious".

I continue to disagree with this assertion.

Life is precious. Time is the result of mankind's realization when it's been wasted.

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