I have, at times, wished I could go to sleep and remain that way until things made sense.
I am currently making my second attempt to read the Qu'ran. It is not going well.
Yesterday I realized the sensitivity in my armpit is actually a significant swelling, presumably of the lymph nodes. I am also currently congested...strange for summer.
I have an ant bite on m right forearm (same side as swelling) that won't go away.
I'm sad that a kitten was killed here weeks ago and that it's mother disappeared without me getting to say goodbye.
I'm disappointed that the Superwoman I've known for a lifetime is slipping past her superiority. This not a feeling I feel justified in having, but it is there. If I'd been around more, maybe I could have encouraged her more before now....maybe we'd all be different.
I feel betrayed by a person I wanted to give a chance.
I feel I've lost the energy to argue, particularly if there is no logic.
Five years ago this February, Travon Martin was killed by someone with no right, duty or responsibility. Since, Black people have been being shown of just what consequence they are to the power structure of this country. It is amazing.....AMAZING....to witness the fear and vengeance ingrained in this working class males of European ancestry in the country. It is truly, truly amazing to see how deeply indoctrinated and socialized this country is.
Perhaps I would have been fine being young in the 50s-60s. As for now.....I regularly wonder where might be a good place to go to live out this existence.
Maybe my view is just too short. Maybe next year will look as different from this one as 08-12 looks from 12-(now).
For the first time ever a few weeks ago, I visited the Monumental Earthworks in Jackson Parish, LA. I felt something there. It feels disrespectful that a highway was built through and part of Mound A was destroyed to build it. I know I am not these people. Perhaps these people would have seen me as a threat. I wish those people were still here. I left finding it poetic if the indigenous brown people still in existence moved north to take the place of their distant cousins.
Again, I have no illusions about my inclusion in that.
To the best of my current knowledge, none of the above is hyperbole.