Sunday, October 31, 2004

Ben & Jerry's Oatmeal Cookie Chunk is THE JAWN*

*meaning very, very good

Friday, October 29, 2004

Velma from Scooby Doo is half black.


The Utah Jazz have finally redesigned their uniforms. Apparently, Salt Lake City is finally coming to grips with the fact their favoritest negro ever and the greatest of the great white hopes in the NBA have moved on...

Sunday, October 17, 2004


I was getting on the boat the other day and saw what must be a world record for the lowest hanging britches ever.

Little dude in front of me was wearing a dashing Roca Wear ensemble, and the crotch of his pants was quite literally down to his ankles.

Do not misunderstand, I am very much a proponent of comfortably loose pants. I, however, have a test: if you pull your shirt above your waist and more than the waistband of your drawers are showing (assuming they're not pulled above your navel), then you apparently need a size smaller.

Other indicators that your breeches may have too much sag:

When wearing your light colored pants, you step onto curbs tentatively because you're worried about sullying the seat of them causing the young ladies to mistakenly think that you've soiled yourself.

You can't walk over 1-liter Coke(c) bottle without knocking it over.

People in the fashion district keep asking who designed your denim sarong...

These NYC cats take sag to a whole other (ridiculous) level.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

My first official hang-out night in NYC

I've now officially "hung-out" in "The City".

After chatting with a former UT'er and his friends and then going to Junior's with another, I went to my roommate's girlfriend's birthday celebration (that was a long sentence...).

I took the boat back and rode home with two of the guests from the party. On the ride home, I was just getting out of the car when a strange, gurgly burp came from the rider in the back seat. We checked to see if he was OK because this young man had had a good few drinks. He said he was all right. I then caught a whiff of something slightly alcohol based with just a hint of digestive fluid. In the next second the back door was opening and the gentleman was quite calmly throwing up quite an amount of liquor.

I can't fathom the idea of voluntarily taking part in an activity after which it is fairly likely that I will vomit. That seems as though it would cause problems when chatting up the ladies. This is why I don't drink.

Of course, the image of me chatting to women at the bar would probably be a mite humorous to most who know me....

'Twas an interesting day indeed

Friday, October 01, 2004

I recently came to the realization that my junior high Math/Science teacher bears uncanny resemblance to Molly Shannon. Barbara Ann will chuckle when she reads this.

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