Tuesday, June 19, 2012


Last Tuesday/Wed, I spent all night preparing and audition video for a theater in a certain large, midwestern city. This included having to learn a couple rap songs (not something I generally do).

When I say all night, I mean no sleep - despite having a callback and a rehearsal later that day.

I was tempted to give up and submit what I had without putting something more polished together, but I really wanted a shot at this job.

So, it was submitted and I tried to go on the rest of the day not thinking about it. Before the day was even over, I'd gotten word of the callback.


This meant learning two additional songs - one of which was to be sung. This is REALLY something I don't do. This seemed challenging at first, but I was surprised how much I enjoyed working on it.

At about 6:30p Friday, I get an e-mail from said theater that there has a been a "development in the process" that may affect them having the callback.

Over the weekend, I try not to think about it. I did, however, not work on it with the same fervor.

On yesterday afternoon I got the confirmation that, though theyenjoyed my video and the effort put into it was appreciated, callbacks had been canceled.

I was fine with that. Things happen. Plans change. I don't even believe it when I'm hired until the first day of rehearsal.

The message went on that a local actor had been found for the job.


This didn't bother me too much. In what was supposed to be a bit of making light of the situation, I went back and forth over email with the agent that submitted me.  I and this agent have had a period of not getting along. He has a certain way of expressing himself that can be taken as, well, antagonistic. I'd decided to just not take it personally, but that I also should remember to limit my converation with him to amiable professionalism (as such with all in the biz, actually). I made the mistake, in this instance, of not letting the issue rest. Though we didn't disagree, he was more upset with the reason for cancellation than me. Thinking about the valid points he made (and making the mistake of mixing myself up in the bitter), I agreed.

Then, having gone to a rehearsal for a show that I should have bowed out of, I began to think about it more.

And I got angry.

Angry that so much of my time had been dedicated to just trying to be seen, only for them to decide on someone they knew. They should have just gone with that person to begin with or, at least, give me chance to compete for the job in person.

At the end of the theater's message, it was mentioned that I'd be kept in mind for future productions at the theater by this plays writer.

Not other productions? Just those by this writer?


you know what?


#### it.

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