"Everyone should own their masters."

Remx:

'€veryone should pwn their master$'

I'm currently thinking about the difference between speaking the language of the ppl ur in the room with and putting on a false face... toxic appropriation.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/07/can-an-unloved-child-learn-to-love/612253/

Here, in tje the midst of second puberty,

I think it's not so much that I am afraid of what's happening to my body and brain as I wish I knew what was going to happen...

As it is, presbyopia is reaching further away and sitting in the vehicle can go from "reading comfortably" to "dashing for woods deeply secluded enough to prevent further embarrassment or citation" simply by turning one's hips.

There are times when I dream and I understand why I experienced the random surreality that I did - either some environmental some influence (like falling asleep to podcasts) or some specific anxiety that has occupied my consciousness (needing to memorize something, grading papers...or whatever other thing I wanted to do).

Then there are others that are less accessible...

Just now I dreamt about the only person I'd proposed to (on the cusp of two decades ago, on-then-off). This is not a new thing. There was a great deal of detail this time and in a context that I am very mich not in.

We were in an 80s future-vision office bullding lobby (seemed like). We were having a discussion about "what happened", but in a non-direct, lyrical, theatrical way (ideas, not production numbers). 

I have already waited too long to be able to type specifics of the conversation (this happened...an hour ago?), and I really wish I could. Basicslly it seems to have been an expression of how our communicstion went (to me): she saying something in short bursts that wasn't conveying and my saying things in long volleys.

What seemed different is that some real "why" seemed to come out of it. Or, at least, me specifically saying how I felt. Then right when I was about to lay some great point bare, I had a sudden diarrhetic expulsion and started for a nearby restroom while still finishing a point, trying to keep "it" as contained in my drawers as possible and hoping no smell or spot was yet apparent. The rest trailed off in to typical dreamy mistiness as I searched for a stall im thus huge, stainless, steel restroom that seemed to have been built without stalls. 

What struck me was how specific, detailed and non-dreamy it was up to that point. I could see closely the quality if her skin, micro-fine facial hairs, slightly sun-tinted conjunctiva of the eye.

I was wearing khaki slacks and a polo...which I haven't done with regularity in a fairly long time.

It's interesting how, regardless of the dream, whatever the climax is seems to be the point at which the startling realism seems to suddenly stop. Or wane. Or dissipate. And the potential answer (or desire?) ... or resolution... slip away.

therr may have actually been a shift in location...or maybe it just looked different from different angles...but it seems like it was more intimate beginning, and then less at the end....enhancing embarrassment....

(shrug)

I guess life sucks when you don't get to say what you want to.

{i was dreaming before i wrote this, so sue me if....}

(uhm..what is this?)

Lonnie Liston Smith - Expansions (Official Audio)

Eddie Kendricks - Girl You Need A Change Of Mind (1973 Audio Redone By D...

Lamont Dozier - Going To My Roots (1977)

simon says that your mind is requesting a furlough.

I just saw a man in Lowe's wearing an under armour t-shirt that said " go ahead hate me "on the front.

He was not wearing a mask, I don't know how closely he was standing next to me.

b. Lewis for days alone

Cfcf exercise #8 (change)

both:

rollicking.

Sohn - "Oscillate"

"Hold fire hostage."

"Oscillate"

Hm.

https://youtu.be/CjlCcGxP6L0 

I hope that, in teaching youth politeness, I can also teach them honesty and with a preference for the latter if there must be a choice.

Yet, viewing human tendency, I wonder at the wisdom of that - if, given the nature of human psyche, there really is a benefit to making someone "feel good" rather tell the truth (in long term as well as shirt term).

My stand is that there is always an acceptable, if not easy way to tell the truth.

And that is my question. Am I wrong?

cruces

that crazy moment when you're playing what was thought to be a Steve Arrington mix on Youtube and I Wld Die 4 U comes on and the lyrics are different than you'd remembered and you see Prince motion skyward on the "he's your messiah" and realize that he's not saying "and you'll love the reason why" but "YOU'RE the reason why" and you realize that song that sort of has been probably you favorite Prince song for at least some period in life is actually about Jesus.

Now.

Play THAT in church.

GILLIGAN - SoundCloud

Mostly here to find out who the talk over is.

Listen to GILLIGAN by ytk on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/yungtrvpkid/gilligann 

mandible

While listening/watching a Thundercat playlist on YT, a cover of "Them Changes" by Ariana Grande came up.

I have never listened to her before. Nor watched.

However, I was thinking during said stream how it would be to hear an actual vocalist do some of his songs, particularly that one.

And, while I didn't view her as a vocal luminary, I thought she would at least have trained/steady/serviceable voice.

And she started.

And she started doing some jerky, painful-looking jutter with her jawbone,

seemingly meant to shape vocalizations,

that my barely-lingering Alexander and pitifully retained voice training (and wanting understanding of physiology and biomechanics) simply could not abide.

This, particularly since it seemed to be adding nothing of any dynamic worth to the quality of her sound.

Thus,

(*next*)

.

unidle hands

At this moment I'm trying to figure out how to saw that I'm wondering what would happen if productivity took the place economy in (our/this/elmundo) society.

And by "figure" out I mean not merely replace the word, but the importance.

A human needs something to do, a function, work, purpose.

A human does not need a job.

That is a function and necessity created by a society.

profit should be an option, a choice.

Not a rule.

And like any life choice, iy should/must not infringe on the freedom/safety/sanctity of another.

Or so some would think by the Bill of Rights thing.

Right?

I greatly dislike when my maternal unit refers to apparent immigrants as "foreigners".

switch

according to a CNBC report that I will hopefully remember to link later,

in 2019 manual transmission ICE cars were outsold be electrics.

Now, I'm not certain what market/s that includes.

I'm not sure what kinds of cars were included in this data..

or the source.

What I DO know

is that I chose to write about this rather than something about my getting tested for Covid-19 3 weeks ago, an ill-fated trip to Alabama an my tussle with my anger-depression that I thought I was getting a handle on.

Which can be added to the litany.

Remember a long time ago when I felt cursed? Have I ever mentioned that? That I will identify with just about any monologue that mentions being cursed...or focus on it even if it isn't the point?

Every day I blink, another ten years seems in danger.

And my time of the year where I manage to feel better-about-my-self seems to be in danger if getting sheltered-in-place.

(sigh)

I have to figure out how to find my way back to being willing to talk to people again.

Again.

staysafe

Take chances.

Make art.