Sunday, January 15, 2012

While walking north toward the Flatiron District last night, I decided to call the G.o.A.T. Barb on the way up. She had just texted me that she was going back to work - big surprise, no?

We talked for a while in W Sr. came into the room and got on the phone from the background.

Him, "So, you - you ready to head back this way?"

I think, at this point, the only person in my immediate family who has not asked me this is my sister - but she's got her own stuff to deal with, so that's not too surprising. She probably also expects the least of any of them for to return, so it may just not have occurred to her.

After going through the roller coaster of the Saints game, confronting a livery driver with his decision to park half of his suburban in the crosswalk at Park and (twenty-something) and the always strange-for-me club experience, I walked back south towards the ferry.

At some point while walking, I went back to that question. At some point - I'm not sure if it was before or after - I thought about how I'm right back to not having to chosen to stay or leave since deciding to leave in late 2009 and never doing so.

(as poorly as a I remembered what I was getting at I went back and really read the poem in the comments section of K's post and now REALLY don't remember what I was talking about - HBG!)

I think, because I'd planned earlier this year to have enough money to leave and those plans got "interrupted" - I'm having a bit of a "I DON'T (heart) NYC" moment.

I thought, for the first time, whether it was a mistake to have not left here 5 years ago. I played hating that out in my mind a bit. It is a bit flabbergasting to think that I've been in the same twin bed in the same tiny room for 7.5 years....with not too much more than this blog to show for it - even there I've left several musings that belonged here dissipate before putting writing them.

Or..maybe I didn't play it out. Maybe I actually hated it. Maybe if I hadn't gotten distracted with the camera I'd be tapping out some finely thought-and-worded precision justifying my immediate exit.

It just occurred to me that some of this may have to do with having just left a going away party....maybe/maybenot.


Ok. This started out sounding like it was going to be good, but I'm just rambling now.

Boo this man.


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