Monsoonsiren - Maso (Prod. Laplace)

 

but black & white

 an art/exhibit using nothing colored black or white.

came from thinking of wearing red black green..the replacement of gold/yellow/brown for black

and subsequent (need for?) removal of white

"The Dig"....'we search the past for the future...to see where we come from.

Rival Consoles - Recovery (Vessels Remix)

"People look at us and see the poor and the mad, but they're looking at us through the bars of their cages.

There's a palace in your head, boy. Learn to live in it always. "

Grant Morrison - THE INVISIBLES

dream

Dreamt my baby aunt G was alaive and young and had braids and we cuddled as we compared/competed over hair length and she showed pics she'd taken of my sister inngold braids and I said "everytime I see her I see Regina King" -

and a maroon 57 Chevy sped in and wheel-spun side-ways over a column on it's side to parallel park -

and checking G's artwork thst was looking on the wall to see if it's ok and " is it cool ? ", and me " this is worth hundred$ to a thou$and " and scoffing laughter -

and following them out and " respect a _l_ck woman's work " and gun pulled and stop -

and - 

and -

leave.

everyone leave.

(sigh)

 i am just putting this here to remind me that I heard someone say "general anxiety" today and am wondering if I qualify.

currently trying to fend off another tension headache (bad morning posture)

haven't been able to turn of various perspectives going on in my head long enough to figure out if giving someone an answer on their time to a question I didn't even realize that I'd been asked was the best decision. 

(headache increasing)

 

i have reached that part of the future where I'm tired of the past rather than wishing for it.

 

tired. tired. tired.

 

 

do not, under any circumstances, fall for sugar and salt and fat.

downtown tyler tx

of few times I have been through Tyler, TX and what I heard of it, I'd never quite expected to see this type of art there.

although I imagine it is intended somehow as a response to the former activities of the former train/cotton deport to which these are adjacent.

click for larger. worth it.

 

 

Listen to: A Utopia For Black Capitalism

Listen to: A Utopia For Black Capitalism - https://one.npr.org/i/989108031:989360308 

Some short time ago, Derrick Chauvin was found guilty on 3 counts for the murder of George Floyd.

 

Though noone has, I know that there is someone somewhere in the world who would ask if this makes me happy.

 

I am not George Floyd's family.

 

I am not one of his friends that was left behind by his death.

 

I didn't know him personally.

 

This verdict does not change the factuality of his death. 

 

I cannot take joy in the circumstance of death.

 

I am not in the place to be able to take joy in conviction of the enactor of George Floyd's death - that is for those felt the shock of his loss, who feel the pain of his absence, those to whom he belonged and belongs.

I...

I will be glad for something that will take decades to see...actual change in this society from one based in actual human dignity rather than human material value.

I am...glad...

..that the people of Minneapolis and Houston and (wherever) were not given reason to protest their pain tonight.

art in the time of dissonance

https://walkerart.org/magazine/whitewalling-protest-art-race-aruna-d-souza

Louis Futon - Shoulda Known (Ganz Remix)

Shlomo - The End

Elusive - Light Beams

Mux Mool - SFW Porn

above - blessed

Cartilage hydrogel

https://newatlas.com/medical/hyaluronic-acid-hydrogel-reinforce-regrow-cartilage/?itm_source=ocelot&itm_medium=recirculation&itm_campaign=ocelot_e079a01&itm_content=recommendation_2

(sigh) II.

i need an ear.

an objective ear.

a silent, objective ear.

and i need a unsparing voice to fill it with.

and hours, days, weeks of time and stamina for them both

(the formula for stamina certainly includes a time variable, yes?)

i need a seductive, hypnotic, coercive, convincive, safe ear

that can pull out all of the truth that i will and won't say that keeps beating against what feels like my diaphragm with what feels like wooden gorge

so i can feel like the it's right

because it's all right

and not just the part my voice allows me to remember. 

(sigh)

n/m

Dear Normal Human,

   Sometimes, I wish you coukd understand what it's look to seen as unfeeling because you can stand back and objectify often, but also feel like you feel EVERYTHING.

Bonus: also what it feels like to be functionally invisible and relentlessly conspicuous.

(somewhere some character in of the movies of Your Life is telling you to stop giving what they want and let them know they see you when They act like they don't 'MAMA I DID IT ALL BECAUSE OF YOU')

crisopa - que nos ataquen