Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Where my brain is at right now.

Yesterday -  cousin managed to piss me off (again) with his the "dark", past-cynical online persona he has decided to wear, I continue to think about getting screwed on an eBay purchase then accidentally screwing myself out of a return due to misunderstanding how to accept a partial refund (thanks, eBay - classy...I mean "crappy"), and we are currently in February which means I am quite destitute.

Last night - I had a dream that I started rehearsals on (the play I'm starting rehearsals for in "real life" next week), and found out that I was not only not getting paid, but expected to pay a deposit on my costume.

This morning/now - I woke up with a kink in my back, and generally not wanting to get up. I kept looking toward the window to see if it was day, because I had the strange depression that usually manifests itself in the we hours when one feels particularly secluded.

...then I got hungry....which made me think about being broke again...which ties into some eating for comfort issues....

and the dream got me to thinking about how tired I am of living "the life" and working up some concerns that I role will be too much for me....

and, misery hating good company, I was set toward something more in the way of sullen when I checked my email and saw that someone was a "core extra" on a program (which, I wouldn't relish the idea of doing, save that one needs money when one doesn't have foraging skills that don't involve mechanized refrigeration or preservatives)

So, I'm in one of those moods where I need to go outside...but I really don't feel like going outside.



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