Monday, February 23, 2009

George Frmn

I've always seen George Foreman of 60's and 70's painted as this lumbering, bestial, mute brute -

in contrast to the affable, garrulous salesman of the 90's-now.

However,

if you can watch Foreman v Frazier I,

and see the Cosell in-the-ring in-ter-view

(that no one EVER shows),

you can see not just the salesman, but:

the preacher
the father

and something people never think of him as...

the social activist.

(big up 5th Ward)

Damn shame it takes 40 years to see a human being.


(young man, no?)

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Why is it

EVERYTIME I stop in Soul Sessions

(I'm trying to give BET another chance)

"Long Distant Girlfriend" comes on?

Friday, February 20, 2009

Sleeping Beauty

Animated short.

Excellent.

meaning:

funny.

Monster's Ball

Was flipping through and it was on IFC.

First instinct was to keep going, figured it was time to try again.

Managed to make it through THAT scene,

...only took 7 years and change.

Actually, it is one of the better shot sex scenes I've witnessed.

Berry's hospital scene's powerful; I sort of feel the same as I feel about it as I feel about D. Washington and Training Day: I don't yet see anything I didn't already know she was capable of (it was new to YA'LL, not those of us who paid attention).

I no longer hate Billy Ray Cyrus I mean, uh, William Robert Thornton,

But the film impresses me more than any of the individual performances,

(shrug)

maybe that's how you tell...

None of this changes my views regarding who won and what they won for that year,

and why (?)

I am ever more against awards shows.

That is feeling progressively less about spite.

I was just thinking how I'd feel about this,
how other's would feel about this,

were it an older,
darker,
(less Hollywood pretty?)

actress as Leticia Musgrove.

Then I remembered Ms. Bassett turned it down.

(let's not even get into Storm)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Whole

I've been fighting over how to say this.....or just excusing myself from saying it....or just procrastinating.....

but here goes:

Within the past couple years, I had the minor epiphany that I will never reach any of my potential until I find my other half.

(sigh).....background? Ok.

Back yon, when I was living off the credit bought by my "potential" in college, we were assigned a book called The Symposium by Plato. It was one of the few books I read for Human Situations. Actually, I think it was the ONLY book I read for Human Situations (it's short). Aside from that, it was notable to me at the time in my dismissal of it as largely a justification for pedophilia an elevation of homosexuality as a being more pure than heterosexuality.

Oh, and Aristophanes' speech about human life-partnering being about trying to restore wholeness stuck with me as well. In short, humans were originally spherical with a face on each side. Zeus got mad (as usual) and tore us in half. Since then we've been searching for our other half.

Skipping ahead a couple millenia...

I used to work on a car lot. I did not enjoy working on a car lot. It was just a lot of empty attempts to part people from as much of their money as possible to me, and had no great deal to do with my personal fervor for automobilia. The manager of the lot was the daughter of owner of the chain. One day I went in and expressed my possible desire to move on. I cannot remember why she told me this, but she stated that sometimes it's hard to do w/o having a reason....someone (family?) to work for. Thinking about it now, she probably said might have been saying that as much in reference to herself as to me (found out later she was in an ending marriage w/no kids; she now how has a diff hubby & a trio of romperdom to contend with). At the time I felt like there was actually one other human being on that building and hung around until after she was replaced. I think I put in my notice a week within her leaving. Or close.

Anyway...the point.

(sigh)

I have a strange relationship with women. I am a self-admitted and unashamed mama's boy. I slept in the same bed with my older sister until I was seven. My childhood was spent largely around she and my mother with most interaction with other children coming when we visited family. I went to the mall with my mother far more with my mother than I ever did my (one) homeboy and a couple other friends I made through him.

I had (what I consider) my first true love in 10th grade. I had my first official girlfriend two years later. She lived about 75 miles away.

I dealt with peers and the ensuing pettiness for the first time in college, in coed dorms. I had a girlfriend that I saw more than once a month for the first time (admittedly, was more about the state than the person at the time). I let some miscreants piss me off early on and went on to behave an entitled, spoiled as for much of the next 3.5 years.

I left there and found who I thought was my match...went back and forth for a while, finally decided to say it out loud upon having to do the long distance thing. That fell apart.

Since then I've been in one long, confusing, maddening, uncommitted relationship and one other that was just long and uncommitted.

In the interim, I have several female friends who, at some point, were attracted to me/didn't get why I wasn't attracted/thought I wasn't attracted/moved on/met me while I was in a relationship and moved on/blahblahblah...

(inhale)

I'm sort of scabbed over now. I can't feel like I used to. Having someone hold my hand doesn't feel the way it used to. Being around someone doesn't feel the way I remember it. I don't get that sensation of glow like I did sitting in the back of a car in a parking lot at night back in 19XX. I've had moments. The second I sense "in love" coming from the other direction, though...(cringe)
It's like the side of my face that's been numb since my wisdom teeth were removed. There is sensation there, but it's dull. It's just enough to remind you what's not there.

So, at some point in the past few trips around the sun, 2006 I think, I came to the conclusion that we are only half until we find our other. I didn't immediately think of Aristophanes or my former manager, but I won't deny them their presence in it.

There have been times when I thought it would have to come with someone new - too much pain built into the past. That "new thing" feeling used to be what I said I missed most in the college relationship**. Plus, there's the chance to develop a new image among that person's community...a chance people won't scowl and eyeroll when you make the announcement.

There have been times, including more recently, it's felt that it would have to be someone I already know. I'm tired and don't feel like putting in all the work to learn somebody new. It's always funny how you can get out of these relationship things 'cuz you think the other doesn't get you, then you move a few years on and talk to them, and you're astonished at what they knew about you and what you didn't know about them. Or did.

I even managed to have a little crushy flare up for an ex last week.

(inhale....exhale)

(inhale)

(exhale)

There was somebody, once, who I was ready to marry. I knew then that I she was who I wanted to partner with, but I felt like I didn't have anything to offer her. You know, the stuff that the "man" is supposed to be able to offer; stability and such. My father said to me "when you gonna marry that girl".

Now, I'm pretty sure that I feel I will never have anything, accomplish anything until I find that other.

I will never reach my potential w/o another energy to fill the space that my procrastination, ephemerality, etc. leaves empty. I am not enough human to do it by myself.

Whole.

Though I'm not really sure how to get there from here.




(**in fact, what was missing most there was truth)


Sunday, February 15, 2009

Intersexed

deep.

Found while researching Klinefelters.

Recessed

According to the numbers I've thrown into Excel(tm), I spent about $1400 more in '08 than I made.

The accountant's gonna have fun this year.

I Hate Facebook.

I also hate listening to these two fornicate.

:|

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Broome/Watts/W. Broadway

Went back to the spot of last night's party. This time it was 9:30p.

Crossed W. Broadway heading west on Broome, decided to turn around and continue south via W. Broadway. I was crossing Broome via W. B'Way when last night's fun happened.

I rode up onto the sidewalk and waited for the light to cross Watts. As I was in the cross walk,

THE SAME THING ALMOST HAPPENED*.

As I the cab driver drove off apologizing and others were still looking at me, ANOTHER CAB ALMOST HIT A PEDESTRIAN IN THE SAME SPOT. At least mine recognized his mistake. That dude just floored it away.

Again, this was AFTER rush.

W. Broadway should be made one way here. Each of these instances occurred when drivers tried to turn left onto Watts or Broome from W. B'Way.

One of the city's more dangerous intersections.

Be wary.

*and this time I was wearing my hi-visibility jacket.

First(plural)

1) While riding down the WSB, I smelled a sulfur smell around after 23rd St. This is nothing out of the ordinary, I've caught this wind from this location before. It's slightly interesting, though, given that a bout 8 blocks later I glanced to my left to see a woman use the end of a park bench as the platform from which she got rid of her excess liquid.

- First time I've seen a woman excrete publicly*.

2) While in the Mid-manhattan Library, I stopped at the self-check kiosk to accouter myself for the trip back south. I apparently walked up on the end of an encounter between a seemingly Asian woman and and, I believe, a south Asian man.

Her: "But why make a racial comment? I mean 'go back to China'?... I'm not even Chinese."

- First time seeing two people at the self-check kiosk at the same time.

3) The Raleigh has been feeling particularly lively the past couple rides, today included. I decided to stay on the avenues rather than peddle all the way back to the WSB. I got to Houston and found a non-cobble-paved road that I thought I'd not tried before. I took it and crossed over Houston, picking up a fair bit of speed. I looked up and saw a lady jaywalking, and, not seeing any cars, either assume she was going to beat me or just didn't take notice of me. I assumed she'd continue and went to pass behind her. She suddenly decided to become attentive and was startled and started to hop back.......putting her BACK into my path. I stopped short of her and moved past in front of her as she exclaimed something involving an expletive. I shouted back over my shoulder, "Baby, if you gonna cross, CROSS".
I came to the red light at the next intersection (that I'm sure I would've passed had I not had to slow down) and stopped**.
Now, what I didn't realize about the path I'd taken is that it was an exit point for a Jersey tunnel. These are one of the most dangerous types of traffic feature you'll encounter in the city. There is heavy traffic, which really isn't so bad. In fact that's usually better because you can move through it while it crawls. Another problem, is that they tend to be forks where people can make a hard turn, or veer in the direction of that turn, or go straight - it's harder to read what people are going to do****.
As I was going straight through the intersection, a white Suburban approached attempting a left hand turn across my path.
Which is fine, except he didn't seem to have to wait for me to get a cross the intersection first.
There was a moment of hesitation where I thought he was going to hold off realizing that I was coming, but, like some many people during evening rush*, he saw pull back a little and moved forward anyway.
I knew the hit was coming***.
Halfway through the hit, I knew wasn't going to be hurt.
After the knockdown-barrel-roll-into-standing (if you're going to go down, get up fly), my worry was whether the bike was ok.
I thought we'd both gotten away with just some scratches, I realized that the back wheel was out of true - but not bent. THAT I made sure to check afore I let cousin leave the scene.

- First bike/moving vehicle "interaction". Thank you that it wasn't anything I couldn't walk away from.

May it be the last.

(inshallah)


*
You mean I never mentioned the time I was headed back to the Times Square station from Times Sqr Arts Center when, right after I turned the corner a dude leaned against a building, pulled down his trousers and shot off a Saturn V rocket squeeze? I was certain he achieve lift.

** I'm one of those few people who stops for red lights while walking and riding. I go through if it's clear, but I don't sit there halfway in the street waiting for the slightest opening to run (unless it calls for it). I let traffic have their light...so if they cross me on mine, I feel no remorse about giving them both barrels of indignation about it.

*** Every time that I've been hit by a moving vehicle, I knew it was coming. Once while at a stop sign in Texas, I saw the lady behind me not looking up while creeping forward...(bump). I The ones you see, you can work through. It's the ones you don't that can muss your hair. Ergo, keep your eyes open and your head moving. You more likely to miss them altogether that way. Anyway.

**** And, to make it worse, it was evening rush. Worst rush of the day. Had I realized what time it was, I would've gone to the bike path. Mos def.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Human



There has never been a time when this was not one of my favorite songs. I heard it when I was younger but connected to it for some reason...something about the idea of being fallible (though I'm sure I ain't really get what the song was about).

I just watched the DVD The Human League: Live at the Dome this past weekend. In it, it's stated that this song was not really a Human League song. Listening to it again and finally hearing some of their other music, I agree completely. It's not HL, but it is one of the best Jimmy & Terry* songs EVER.

Interesting interview on the DVD. Frankly, I'd skip the actual performance. I think it just serves to show how the heavily electric music is not best suited to live performance...not synth pop anyway (not much for a musician to do) AND that you shouldn't shoot the concert video on the last day of a long tour (damn, Philip Oakey, what happened to that high note). They didn't really build a stage show so....just listen to yer vinyl or magnetic tape.

Sometime between yesterday and today on the bus, I realized that I have lived this song out - if not in quotes, at least line by line.

Then again, maybe most of us have.

*Why did they never do a producer album? Is there a Jimmy and Terry greatest hits set? I think they and Alexander O'Neal** should get their lifetime achievement awards the same night.

**I just looked at the wiki entry for O'Neal. I didn't know he worked with JJ & TL (though it figures, the similarity in their sound is hard to miss)

**I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT HIM BEING REPLACED BY MORRIS!!!

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Peas and rice

Just tried my first batch.

maybe a little too much coconut milk,
maybe added too much rice (although that was done in an attempt to suck some excess milk),
too long on the fire for what I was going for,

but not bad for a shot in the dark.

"Walk Hard" by Dewey Cox

Is actually a darn fine song.

Lil' Nutzzak's "Hard", on the other hand, is a loathe & like-it-for-a-second-before-hating-it-for-being-so-apt-and-getting-depressed type thing.

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