from my first promo job yesterday,
largely due to an interaction with NY's "finest".
I have a history of displeasure for authority figures,
but it feels like some special ire for these in particular.
Perhaps it's just my general view regarding the way people deal with each other here.
Regardless....I despise the powerlessness I feel around them....how attempting to counter anything they say immediately causes me to draw back for fear of reprimand.
Which is not their job,
yet we all...most of us...seem to do it instinctually. Slowing down even though you're already at doing the speed limit. Stopping for yellow lights. Purposely not looking "them" in the eye.
Pavlov is, apparently, a mutha.
I walked off my first job. And now I feel stupid about it. Instead of swallowing the anger for a few more minutes I, more or less, asked to be replaced - and now I'm out of a few hundred dollars (unless company gets desperate and calls back).
Doing the promotions was supposed to be a way of dealing with the indignity of working in offices.
I think I may just have lost patience for being someone's underling.
I'm gonna go bang a drum, or something.
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