While staying up all night to so I could get to an audition early enough to actually claim a spot, I realized that the picture I have of my mother as a girl* is the only thing I have that my grandmother gave to me before she died. I'm sure there's a toy I could find - I actually think I saw one this summer when I went home. The picture us different, though. She gave it to me during a two week period that I stayed with her the summer before I left for college. For me it was an attempt at seeing what life away from home.
It also just happened to be much closer to my girlfriend at the time.
I've since felt guilty that I didn't try harder to get to know her then. I seem to remember an intent...even a slight attempt, which may be what resulted in the picture. Whenever I think about it now, I wish that it'd occurred to ask her about the paternal half of my mother's chromosomes. I was never really close to my great grandmother, so, even though she outlived her daughter by a decade, I never got brave enough to ask her once I did come to the conclusion that my biological grandfather was of anthropology other than what would be commonly referred to as my own. My mother had tried to find out about him from her, but that didn't result in much.
Wait, ok, now I remember. I was looking through My grandmothers photo albums, and found a picture of my mother's 6th grade graduation photo. I can't remember how the question of me having it came up, but she said I couldn't have that one because it was her only one. She gave me the one I have now, which is a regular school photo. I think it's from the year before.
The point to all this...was that I realized in the we hours of yesterday that it was the last physical gift I'd gotten from my mother's-mother. I used to keep it in my wallet. If I'd ever lost my wallet then, or if I go back to keeping it there and lose it...the loss of that picture will be why I'm pissed off for the remainder of the day(month,year,epoch).
*hair haphazardly pulled back, collar askew. Completely un-affected smile. Utterly perfect.
Yesterday, while walking to an audition, my hand got singed by another pedestrian's cigarette. He apologized. I responded with the standard "no problem".
Which is a lie. It is very much a problem. People shouldn't walk and smoke because
- walking, though it may not seem like a strenuous activity, is still aerobic exercise and will cause one to breath deeper, thereby increasing the volume/potential for smoke inhalation and lung damage
- OTHERS WALKING AROUND YOU ARE ALSO BREATHING MORE HEAVILY THAN AT REST AND DON'T HAVE THE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR FILTER