i just tried to play a series of brain exercise games.
And i noticed difficulty following fast moving objects or tracking more than one.
And i noticed i was holding my breath when I couldn't  track or understand the game
And my anxiety increased when i heard the "wrong answer" sound
And trying to breathe more deeply/with more intention didn't help
And several wrongs in a row caused a feeling in my ...solar plexus?
A not-good(?) tingling (?)
it's hard to deal with conflict
and it's hard to deal with duplicity 
And it's hard to deal with failure 
with losing
and there's a feeling like nausea 
except for the soul
                   the self
I'm going to lose 
I'm going to lose
                              it.
it hurts. 
I'm hurt
I was hurt
I'm  tired
I want to go home
I have no home
I have to shut my eyes 
I covered my eyes 
I had to stop
I had to put it down
I had to stop
I put it down...and closed my eyes...and my breath came back to me.
I just sighed. 
I am going to play something different now.
:-|