I am in love with,

and want to do this.

in other news, I just realized this thing is past 400 posts.

Well.

Look at that.

the 3 r's

rocky is the road of the righteous.

Also

I had the "cutting my hair" dream again this past week, too.

Sex & Semi-Consciousness

• This morning I had a dream that a best male friend in youth tried to set me up for an "encounter" with other male friends we went to high school with. It felt insidious without being specifically threatening; like some sh!t that wouldn't hold up in court, even though you KNOW where it was headed. No idea of the significance.

• Yesterday I had a short dream where a long time female friend kissed me. It weren't no tentative peck neither...straight tongue, B! But there seemed to be something nauseating on her tongue/in her mouth. Right after I was nauseated to vomiting, but it now seems as though the sick/substance came from my mouth, i.e. was my fault. I wonder if this was a warning to not let indulgence ruin a relationship. Or maybe my subconscious meant to inform me if the magnitude of my oral offensiveness during slumber...?

(pensation)

Though stated with a certain degree

of chagrin, I will admit to liking Mr. & Mrs. Smith.

And, independent of the puffy lip crush I have on Angelina Jolie,

she is a remarkable film actor.

aunt 10 Eye

No matter how much I pull, tug,

there's always a lock (currently two)

that point, pretty much, straight up*.


Physics or something else?


*no, i don't characterize this as a problem

damn Devil wearin' Prada

I just dreamt that the I was temping at a clothing designer.

Toward the end of my tenure, thus designer wanted to use a shirt made for me by mom-diggidity, which I simply called my design.

While at home thar night it occurred to me that I should clarify that it was mom-Diesel's mash-up (e'en though she wudna cared).

On returning to work the following day, I was picked up in a limo, wherein I was presented with documents showing I wa being sued for FRAUD.

It ended as I was going into the building...

(sigh)

there's a small rodent sticking out (of) the wall in my room.

Refuse

Today, while walking west along 14th, I saw a homeless man pick up from the street - not the sidewalk, THE STREET - a spoiled piece of fruit. He considered it, then began to eat it.

As usual, I missed an opportunity to act. The grand irony being that there was fruit stand at the end of the block we were on.

"Not my fight"

Vince Young in response to Donovan McNabb's most recent comments on the Black Quarterback said,

"That's not my fight to fight. Right now over here the Tennessee Titans, we're trying to go to the playoffs. I can't worry about all the other stuff going on,"

Context, is a factor...

And there are those who'll say he was wise to distance himself...

HBO had a bio-doc about Jim Brown on this past morning. I'd already heard how important the image he presented as a Black man was to him while playing. This was not an insignificant public view of life in the thick of the American Civil Rights Movement. Perhaps the most notable side effect being his and other Black athletes' public support of Muhammed Ali's refusal to report for the draft...

Well, to put it succintly:

I'm afraid Vince is living up to his surname.

(Not that I'm any braver)

Limbo

Think I'm going to go hang out at the Equity Center today, maybe check out portfolios @ Reproductions...

Pretend to be an actor and such.

Sigh

September is trying its DAMNDEST to suck.

There's too much to like about the transition to fall for it to be trying this hard to get on my nerves.

I find the first half of that sentence to be corny.

(shrug)

F.

Not even a callback.

(sigh)

The general policy of 'next' would've been far more immediately accessible had I done the work I prepared to do, knowing that in that work, they would've seen whatever they needed for the additional consideration.

And I knew that.

And was told that.

And still didn't just do what I should have, which was the work I'd already prepared.

In what I did do - too much incidental, not enough extra.

And that is why I was so affected.

I am now disappointed, but not depressively so.

angerwithselfisuseful(only?)whenitservesasacalltoarms,

therefore: a call to arms
____

I decided yester/today should be significant somehow, so I decided to fast for the first time in nearly 13 years. It was strange that, as soon as I decided to fast, the thought of food immediately began to dominate me secondary thoughts. I was fine when I thought about not eating, but as soon as my thoughts went elsewhere, the notion to get up and eat was nearly involuntary. I was actually catching myself in the motion to get something to eat. I don't remember that sensation impacting me that way the last time...
I got to the point where I was having to convince myself to not consider any of the deals my habit/urge was trying to make with my conscious decision - and found out that my habit/urge can be pretty dern persuasive. Explains some weakensses displayed in the past....
A few hours in, I decided this wouldn't be the 3 day, complete starvation attempt from back yonder - the attempt that led to me sneaking a small handful of my then roommate's Cheerios™ in the wee hours of the second day. This is just to mark today. I started with some seltzer water, then threw back some filtered tap, followed by a flagon of the current roomie's laichee black with honey. There've been a couple of influential pangs since, but it's now settled into fairly benign sensation.
Since then, it's been mostly the plaintive consideration of the beneficialities of the practice of dicipline, when the spirit should follow the mind vs. following the body, how different it is to TALK about benefit of the fast (for over a decade) versus the action. I'm gonna go do some stretchin' and invertin' once I finish tappin' this out.

We'll see how things go when I venture out into the city later on.

Other things done for self to mark the occasion of this particular .274 percent of the Julian calendar:

• tossed nearly $50 bucks into the wind toward my surprisingly-regular-pretty-much-annual-hey-look-I-actually-got-some-new-music annual music purchase.
• decided to devote real-life (as much as the US $ can be considered "actual") dough toward trying life with Skype. I believe I may have found a solution to the dearth of choice involved with HotSpot@Home. At least until there's a Curve with Wi-Fi that'll convince eschew my current two device policy.
  

/just to be clear->HB,G\

Glamour "Employee": Natural Hair Wrong for Boardroom...

http://www.law.com/jsp/nlj/PubArticleNLJ.jsp?id=1188161099761


There was a time when I was little that I thought all girls' hair was naturally straight(er).


(eyebrow)

And here's an apology from the mag's ed., issued to askthisblackwoman.com:


I read your post about a Glamour editor's comments on hairstyles for work, and
I'd like to share with you our thoughts. First, we regret the comments were
made. The employee (not a beauty editor) spoke to a small group of lawyers at a
private luncheon without her supervisor's knowledge or approval, and her
comment — that Afros are not work appropriate — does not represent Glamour's
point of view.

Secondly, immediately upon learning of it, we sought to rectify the situation.
The editor has been dealt with in a very serious manner, and the entire staff
has been reminded of the magazine's policies and procedures for making public
appearances.

Glamour is proud of its diverse readership and celebrates the beauty of ALL
women. We have responded directly and openly with readers to assure them of this
fact. We have also apologized to the law firm, and we extend the same apology
to you.

Cindi Leive,
Editor-in-Chief of Glamour

As long as we're on the subject,

old, but good.

Daddy is SO good to us,

isn't he?

(btw, kinfolks, ya'll still got beat fuh a cee-note...you cheap 4GB bastards is still up DooDoo Crik w/o a paddle...or a one-button mouse)


{mellorate on that fo' uh spell}


[and the $2K eBay geniuses look ever-the-more genius-er]

I know I'D be pissed...

So, we now see, CLEARLY, that Apple intentionally took advantage of the fervor of it's own fanboys/girls and other electro-lemmings. I wonder if they'll notice.

Most companies would start out with a low price, then go up. Yeah, Apple definitely "thinks different".

Okay, okay, maybe it wasn't intentional. Maybe it was just the result of lower than anticipated demand...

btw, Samsung had already announced a touchscreen music player. Some might like that design better.

Samsung appears to bet on blootooth (take calls through the player), recordable FM radio, built-in mic & speaker;

Whilst Apple plans to bank on Wi-Fi with the also announced iPod Le Toosh'.

If Samsung allows for Wi-Fi passthough via the BT 2.0 connection (vive le firmware upgrade), the Yepp could make an alternative for those who desire to avoid the Apple tax....

Which is newly reduced!! Che' GOP!

Wait. I'm confused. I thought the bitten fruit brand was the bloodmark of the raving liberal?

Oh, wait, no. I'm thinking of the hipster/fashionista.

Though toosh'-less, and therefore utterly uncomparable to anything toosh'ed by Prophet Jobs, I find the SD Slot (SDHC, let us hope) and Outlook sync-ing of the newest Zen quite, quite attractive.

The battle over the eyes, ears, nose & thoat of babylon continues...

New Play Excerpt

a line from a play that I'm currenly reading. The character speaking is a Western Idealized Female version of Uncle Sam:

"Oh. These Ni$$ers, umm, Coloreds, no Negroes, hell African American black fools think they got a right to love?! These idiots truly believe that they have that freedom?! Well, it seems that the United States is approaching a repetitive crisis in race relations due to the Civil Rights Act of 1964 which followed the good ol’ days of Jimmy Crow, regrettably. They now believe that they actually are human and get to eat from the same pie as me! I will not allow it. (Jumping up and down, throwing a tantrum). There will be NO NIGGER LOVE here, unless, of course that love will serve me. (Sinister laughter and rubbing hands together) But Negroes are weak. They are unskilled and poorly educated. So, it won’t be difficult to strip them of their hearts. They’ll just sing about how hard it is and make up a new dance to go along with it. Hah! Love? Ni$$er love?! I have something for that! (sardonic laughter; exits with the SOUND of a thunder storm, lightening flashes)"

Foam Rubber vs. Silicon

reaffirmation of the GRANDLY obvious:

Puppet Yoda is vastly (superior) to CG Yoda.


Well....the Dooku fight is probably an exception.


Any other time, rods and gears win.

Actual & factual.

Wow...(Movement Studies Division)

Follow this link, skip to 4 min, 58 sec. in.

At some point in the past eon or so,
I figured out that artists are amazed by
other artists.

You witness somebody do something
inspiring, some greatness,

And you're moved -

and say:

I wish I could do THAT with my ______ (<-insert what YOU do here).

So artist initiates art.

So sight begets
sound begets
taste begets
touch begets
movement begets... (∞)

So goes the cycle.

At least that's one of the ways is happens.

hb,g.

Forced Abortion in China

Chronicle page at this link



Chinese victims of forced late-term abortion fight back

QIAN'AN, China — Yang Zhongchen, a small-town businessman, wined and dined three government officials for permission to become a father.

But the Peking duck and liquor weren't enough. One night, a couple of weeks before her date for giving birth, Yang's wife was dragged from her bed in a north China town and taken to a clinic, where, she says, her baby was killed by injection while still inside her.

"Several people held me down, they ripped my clothes aside and the doctor pushed a large syringe into my stomach," says Jin Yani, a shy, petite woman with a long ponytail. "It was very painful. ... It was all very rough."

Some 30 years after China decreed a general limit of one child per family, resentment still brews over the state's regular and sometimes brutal intrusion into intimate family matters. Not only are many second pregnancies aborted, but even to have one's first child requires a license.

Seven years after the dead baby was pulled from her body with forceps, Jin remains traumatized and, the couple and a doctor say, unable to bear children. Yang and Jin have made the rounds of government offices pleading for restitution — to no avail.

This year, they took the unusual step of suing the family planning agency. The judges ruled against them, saying Yang and Jin conceived out of wedlock. Local family planning officials said Jin consented to the abortion. The couple's appeal to a higher court is pending.

The one-child policy applies to most families in this nation of 1.3 billion people, and communist officials, often under pressure to meet birth quotas set by the government, can be coldly intolerant of violators.

But in the new China, economically powerful and more open to outside influences, ordinary citizens such as Yang and Jin increasingly are speaking out. Aiding them are social campaigners and lawyers who have documented cases of forced abortions in the seventh, eighth or ninth month.

Chen Guangcheng, a self-taught lawyer, prepared a lawsuit cataloguing 20 cases of forced abortions and sterilizations in rural parts of Shandong province in 2005, allegedly carried out because local officials had failed to reach population control targets.

Chen, who is blind, is serving a prison sentence of three years and four months which his supporters say was meted out in retaliation for his activism.

Many countries ban abortion after 12 or sometimes 24 weeks of pregnancy unless the mother's life is at risk. While China outlaws forced abortions, its laws do not expressly prohibit or even define late-term termination.

A family unplanned

Jin, an 18-year-old high school dropout from a broken home, met 30-year-old Yang, a building materials supplier, in September 1998. They moved in together. A year and a half later, in January or February 2000, they discovered Jin was pregnant but couldn't get married right away because she had not reached 20, the marriage age.

After her birthday in April, Jin bought porcelain cups for the wedding and posed for studio photos. On May 5, they were married.

Now all that was missing was the piece of paper allowing them to have a child. So about a month before Jin's due date, her husband Yang set out to curry favor with Di Wenjun, head of the neighborhood family planning office in Anshan, the couple's home town about 190 miles east of Beijing.

He faced a fine of $660 to $1,330 for not having gotten a family planning permit in advance, so he treated Di to the Peking duck lunch on Aug. 15, 2000, hoping to escape with a lower fine since this was his first child.

The next day he paid for another meal with Di and the village's Communist Party secretary and accountant.

He said the mood was cordial and that the officials toasted him for finding a young wife and starting a family.

"They told me 'We'll talk to our superiors. We'll do our best. Wait for our news.' So I was put at ease," Yang said.

But three weeks later, on Sept. 7, when Yang was away opening a new building supplies store, Jin was taken from her mother-in-law's home and forced into having the abortion.

Why had the officials failed to make good on their assurances? One of Yang's two lawyers, Wang Chen, says he believes it was because no bribe was paid.

"Dinner is not enough," Wang said. "Nothing gets done without a bribe. This is the situation in China. Yang was too naive."

Di, who has since been promoted to head of family planning for all of Anshan township, could not be reached. Officials who answered his office phone refused to take a message and gave a cell phone number for him that was out of service.

Late-term procedures decline

Zhai Zhenwu, a sociology professor at the People's University Institute of Demographic Studies in Beijing, said that while forced, late-term abortions do still occur sporadically, they have fallen sharply.

In the late '80s and early '90s, he said, some family planning officials "were really radical and would do very inappropriate things like take your house, levy huge fines, force you into procedures."

Things have improved since a propaganda campaign in 1993 to make enforcement more humane and the enactment of the family planning law in 2001, he said. Controls have been relaxed, allowing couples in many rural areas to have two children under certain conditions.

Still, Radio Free Asia reported this year that dozens of women in Baise, a small city in the southern province of Guangxi, were forced to have abortions because local officials failed to meet their population targets.

In the province's Bobai county, thousands of farmers rioted in May after family planners levied huge fines against people with too many children. Those who didn't pay were told their homes would be demolished and their belongings seized.

Yang and Jin are suing the Family Planning Bureau in their county of Changli for $38,000 in medical expenses and $130,000 for psychological distress.

But it's not about the money, said Yang, a fast-talking chain-smoker. No longer able to afford to run his business, he now works as a day laborer in Qian'an, an iron mining town east of Beijing.

"What I want is my child and I want the court to acknowledge our suffering," he said.

A family planning official in Changli justified Jin's abortion on the grounds she lacked a birth permit. The woman, who would only give her surname, Fu, said no one in the clinic was punished for performing the procedure.

Contradictory evidence

The National Population and Family Planning Commission, the agency overseeing the one-child policy, says it is looking into Jin and Yang's case. Meanwhile, the evidence appears contradictory.

Jin's medical records include a doctor's certificate from 2001, the year after the abortion, confirming she could not have children. Doctors in Changli county say they examined her in 2001 and 2002 and found nothing wrong with her.

The court ruling says Jin agreed to have the operation. Jin says the signature on the consent form is not hers but that of Di, the official her husband courted.

Sun Maohang, another of the Yangs' lawyers, doubts the court will rule for the couple lest it encourage further lawsuits. But he hopes the case will stir debate and lead to clearer guidelines on abortion.

As she waits for the next round in court, Jin says she is too weak to work and has been celibate for years because sex is too painful.

Her husband prods her to tell her story, but during an interview she sits silent for a long time and finally says she doesn't want to talk about the past because it's too sad.

Then she quietly insists the lawsuit is something she has to do for Yang Ying, the baby girl she carried but never got to see or hold.

K's Addendum

And after ALL THAT,

my mother informs me that her birthday is on the 27th, not the 28th.

and that figures.

One can only imagine how perfect this is...

Gwen, I WILL get you back.

:P

(looks around, suspicious. Covers nose pre-emptively.)

btw, K is her middle name. That's not an abbreviation.

K.

Today is my aunt Gwen's birthday. Gwendolyn K. Bennett is the baby of her siblings - the babiest baby sister to my mom (the oldest). She was born late enough in the game that she was only a few years older than my older brother.

They grew up like brother and sister.

Since she was still young when her siblings started having children, she was the default babysitter. I never remember a time when she resented that.

(Not that we never got on her nerves, or that she never "chastised" us).

Growing up, she was the favorite aunt. Mostly because she let us get away with the most stuff and had the most patience for our shenanigans...

Actually, she played a large part in much of said shenanigans - I don't see how there's anybody in my generation of my mother's side who's sense of humor was not greatly influenced by her.

One morning during the second semester of my first year of college, I was awakened by a call from my mother saying that Gwen had died.

Two weeks after her death, my grandmother - a woman who'd made a career of caring for the infirm - had a stroke, became an invalid, and passed away two weeks shy of a year of the anniversary of her youngest child's death.

The death of my aunt Gwen led to a painful, painful time in my family.

My mother's family, which to me was the epitome of togetherness, for whom "too much fun" was an impossibility -

(ask us about Bennettball, and writhe in your jealousy)

- fell apart; fractured by blame, guilt, pride....(sigh)

toppled by the departure of its bookends.

I came to the following conclusion sometime within the past year, I think, but I wanted to wait until this day to declare it in/to the universe:

I love my Aunt Gwen. I miss my K. I laid my head and cried in my sister's lap for the first time since I was a small, small child at her funeral. I cried again days later with guilt over not having had more to say to her the last time we spoke. Perhaps if I'd said something cheerful, encouraging to her, she would have seen fit to stay with us.

In the past this day has reminded some people I love of what they lost.

From now on, I plan to use this day to celebrate what we had, have or may....WILL have. I will invoke it as a means of healing in my family. And I promise the tears I cry as I write this sentence will be last I'll shed in connection with pain from her loss.

And this is not to say that she was or is any more special that anyone in my family or that my family has lost....

Just that I will use her name on this day as a symbol of happiness. Of joy. 'Cuz that's the way I remember her.

And when I invoke this day, I'm invoking the spirits of both of my Grandmother Annies, Bobby, Marie, Garrett, Garrett Jr., Punkin, Angelique....

And I encourage everyone in my family to invoke the names of someone or one's as a symbol for themselves...

And I'm going to spend the day sayin' "happy birthday" to her.

And, after that, I'm going to holler it everytime something exceptionally good happens...for the times since she's been gone and I wanted to share a moment with her.

And I give exactly three quarters of a hot damn about what anybody in earshot thinks of it.


So,


Happy Birthday, Gwen.


I miss your nose, too. I wanna play with my mole.

"Ethnomusicology"

sounds like the title of a neo-soul album circa 2000-2005.

P.S.:

I really do wish I could start back over from 2k.

I am undoubtedly in that part of my existence.

(headache, looming fatigue while stuck in an office bldg today)


........

Poetic Programminng

I wonder if there's any significance to Brokeback showing on Cinemax 5 Star and The Cowboy Way on OUTer Max at the same time....


(in other news, HBO has Willy running at the same time as Charlie)

Soon Cometh the Electronic Crawdad

Team CajunBot's qualified for the 2007 DARPA Urban Challenge semi-final.

Though I guess they should consider a team name change since CajunBot itself is actually staying home.

Here's to the little red wagon from Laffy Ett.

do it for the Boot.

April 4, 1968

Tonight I cried when I heard about Dr. King.

And I was only 39 years late.

(First time for everything)

Vick

The inevitable. The most interesting is the story of the reenactment.

Reparations

In the past two weeks:

LCD display of a PDA

Horn on truck

Bicycle brake cable.

Well, replaced more than repaired.

For the most part, we in this society don't really understand repair anymore; only slightly more replacement of pieces.

We do seem to have a close relationship with discard-and-buy-a-new-(x).

(shrug)

Nice

Very nice.

More of the Same

Was sitting across State St. from the ferry while waiting on a response from a txt msg, mp3 in one ear, eyes, hands and frayed nerves trained on Super Off-Road....

when a clamor came a clamoring from the sidewalk before me. This particular child among a group of children of The City was going on about how some individual she was speaking with needed to (bleep)ing go to school at said individual's insistence that a passport wasn't needed to go to the Virgin Islands from the US.


Now, for clarity's sake, let it be known that there are U.S.V.I.s and U.K.V.I.s.

So, in her bluster, it's possible she is correct.

However, that ephemeral imp "likelihood" would suggest she meant the U.S.V.I.s.

I wasn't sure at the time the nature of the non-U.S.V.I.s, so I sat on my inkling to go and correct her.

Regardless, I hope her GRAND conviction one day finds a useful - and well-founded purpose.

God, save the youth.

Brain Candy

is friggin' great, eh?

Evolution of the Anti-Circumcision Movement

I'd recently begun wondering about the fairness of having this done to defenseless male children for much the same reason as I would refuse to inflict ear-piercing upon female children.

But I don't think I'd ever care enough to bother with this.

There are those who might suggest a lack of sensitivity is beneficial.

Or maybe that's the problem -

I do have a certain amount of envy...

Humans are weird.

addendum:
Girl hyenas are weirder? Wow!

Binky Finds Her Karma

Proof barrel rolls solve all problems.

Sugar & Nicotine

Hooda guessed.

Daily Bread

Yo TENGO QUE recuerdar a comer mas durante del dia.

Today's intake:

1 shrimp empanada w/ a small guava juice

1 iced tea (brewed, unsweetened)

1 bowl of ramen (with black eyed peas)

The NYC divas already mad at me for being a skinny bitch.

Everybody Keep Your Hands to Yourself

"A man should never put his hands on a woman."

Well, this sounds right....but what about when I woman puts her hands on a man?

I see no reason why a male should not defend himself against an attacker.

And my personal rule has always been "don't touch me, and I won't have a reason to touch you".

But there seems a fairly general consensus among women, or at least a considerable contingent among them, that it is ok for a woman to strike a man and she should not expect him to respond defensively.

It is deemed un-manly.

I guess this has some merit in situations where there is a great size difference between the two...but you could make the same argument about the size difference between two men.

But why should any person not keep themselves from being struck?

Indeed, defense doesn't require a belly-to-back suplex....

But why is it ok for YOU to hit ME?

Human males and females are actually quite close in size/strength compared to most of the rest of the world's fauna.

The argument and hypothesy could go on for days upon eons...

Simply put:

EVERYBODY KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF.

(don't make me come back there)

Dixie Youth Baseball

I remember classmates being in Dixie Youth Baseball when I was little. I just thought it was the local version of Little League.

What I did not know, was that it was formed as the result of adults refusing to allow their children to play in a league with the 1955 Cannon Street All-Stars.

On DYB's emblem/patch there used to be a Confederate battle flag opposite the U.S. flag.

I hope the game I watched my nephew play (well, stand around in) when he was little was LL, not DYB.

Although it probably doesn't matter -

does it...._

The Good, the Dumb, and the Crampy

The Good:

After investigating a the New Dorp park across from Miller field, my back tire got caught steel path-shaping material. The bike was going down, but instead of going down with it, I kept cool and got both feet clicked out. I just trotted over the bike while it slid over. Even if it didn't look cool, it felt cool.

The Dumb:

While riding next to Hylan on a poorly maintained sidewalk, I bumped into a try limb instead of slowing to a stop with the left brake and catching the limb with my right hand. I didn't brake because I was worried about stopping and not being about to get out of the pedals. As cool as the dismount was, I think made me leery of getting out suddenly. Jammed my thumb a little, knocked the right brake lever slightly askew, mostly felt stupid. I would've been better off just riding in the street, which I was also being a chicken about....

The Crampy:

My legs were noticeable fatigued while riding back along South Beach. I was making my way through the residence section of Fort Wadsworth when my right quadriceps started spasming. I tried to let it relax, but the left started not long after that. It was the first time I've ever cramped while riding. That last time was after 4 hours of dancing. The worst part is that it was on a hill...and there was almost two miles to go until I got to the truck. I geared all the way down and shifted around on the seat, stood up. It finally let up by the time I got out of the Fort. Maybe it had something to do with that Entenmanns (I was thinking quick energy - wanted an oatmeal raisin cookie, should've got a granola bar, thought I was in enemy territory, didn't take time to think, my bad).

About 34 miles in all. Rode around the south (read: "white") end of the island. Sometimes felt a little uncomfortable, mostly fine. I'll prolly be back there. I have a thought that the abundance of mistakes were the residual effect of concern about how I was being perceived.


interesting

Why do I enjoy

watching Transformers episodes on my PDA so much?

Maybe I'm just happy I didn't pay the Apple Tax.


;)

Road Rash

Had my first fall while clicked into the pedals yesterday. No damage to me. I think I caught a tire weight or a rock with my back tire while I was practicing getting my foot to the to 12 o'clock on the leaning side*.

Left foot shot right out of the pedal, right stayed clicked in. So, all the weight went to the left foot which slipped since I don't have any toe or heel protectors. I guess the next time Nashbar or somebody has free shipping I'll get some decent shoes.

I just love the fact that somebody was walking into a house right when it happened, yet there wasn't even a "you okay".

I love how much we love us.

Then again, maybe it was Mr. Universe's way of tapping me on the shoulder for not dismounting to help that woman get that box to the curb**.


(* It feels more natural to do the opposite, but having the foot at the top of the rotation gives more ground clearance.)

(** I get tired of trying to guess whether people will be threatened if I approach)

I wonder how often

the "current administration" watches Saving Private Ryan...

Woooooooooow

(The following is taken from this website)

Whats wrong with thongs?

Sales of thongs have doubled since 1996, according to Dr. Adelaide Nardone, an ob/gyn in Providence, Rhode Island, and a medical advisor for the Vagisil Women’s Health Center. Obviously, this increase in sales signifies that thongs are the underwear of choice for many women.

But wearing these comfortable, panty line-free underwear can come with unhealthy consequences. “Think about it,” says Nardone. “You have a strip of material directly connecting the vagina and the anus.” If the latter isn’t spotlessly clean, fecal content and bacteria like E. Coli and group B strep typically found in the rectal area can be tracked into the vagina. Nardone says 25 to 40 percent of women unknowingly harbor group B strep in the vagina, and the bacteria can cause problems during pregnancy.

Aside from border-crossing bacteria, the constant rubbing of thongs can cause perineal fissures--tiny tears between the rectum and vagina. “Any open cuts in that area are potential sites for infection, including STDs,” says Nardone, who adds that this problem is exacerbated if a woman shaves below the belt. “Pubic hair protects against irritation and infection, and is a barrier to trauma.”

Whether you opt for thongs or looser fitting underwear, Nardone suggests sticking with all-cotton styles or, at the very least, those with a cotton-lined crotch. “Synthetic fabrics such as spandex and acrylic can cause allergic reactions. They also trap moisture in the [vaginal] area, which creates a wonderful environment for the growth of yeast and bacteria,” she says. A dyed cotton crotch can also cause allergic reactions, so stick with reliable white.

Superwoman....

Whose came first - Main Ingredient or Stevie?

Why I hate biopics

Earlier this year when The Last King of Scotland was out, I had this "discussion" with someone regarding biopics.

My thoughts are, in short, thus:

When anything but the truth is told, you do the viewer and those whose lives you are depicting, a disservice. "Re-imagining" events for the sake of effect - even when the result is greatly enjoyed by the audience - is derogatory*.

If the TRUE story is not worth telling -or your WACK a$$ can't tell it and convey the depth of it, just don't tell it.

Example:

Watch Cinderella Man. Or watch the last 20 minutes of the movie Where Jim Braddock fights Max Baer.

Then watch this.

See the difference?

Hollywood blows.

I'm disappointed in Opie.

Disappointment

So, Garcelle Beauvais seems to have decided it would behoove her career to grace the pages of Playboy with her ta-tas.

Guess I'll have to go ahead and yank her off of that boyhood unattainable crush pedestal.

I remember her from the Avon catalogs.

That's dedication, yo.

:/

Hammas Mickey update

Damn, they got 'im.

The J

Time is moving far too slowly today. 4th of July on Wednesday is like having two Mondays.

(iyulkh)

The Spotless Mind Realized

Brain candy anyone?

Thursday, June 28th.

Though I certainly don't want it to last forever, but not having to work on THIS day is a glorious thing. I was going to dedicate an hour-and-half to the unrated version of Grandma's Boy, but I've decided that derserves more attention that I can spare at the moment. I need to go over a contract, decide what ubiquitous questions I'm going to ask the manager involved in said contract, revise a resume for the manager involved in said contract....oh, and decide if I'm going to sign with said manager.
The offer to sign is an interstesting one and fits into my current plan of career evaluation, but discretion is rarely without it's merits.


This morning I had a two act dream:

1) I and my classmates from grad school were at me Grandmother's house. There was a young woman there who stated she was buying a motorcycle. I offered some sort of advice which led to sophomoric joking.

2) Now in the living room I realize that it's one of said classmate's b'day (1st of Jan?). This leads to horseplay which leads into my Grandmother's bedroom which was now occupied by her "sister". I chase them out and begin reminiscing about objects in said room. This somehow led to the knowledge that my "great aunt" was a music promoter of some sort and would be working with the group Maktub* on a local tour stop. I thought it would be good for one of my NY acquaintances who's into live music to be involved in the process and tried wanted to ask if she could meet them.

(end of dream)

* Their lead singer held the door open for me and a friend at a Starbucks in the LES this past Dec.

United 93

I think I was pretty self-resolute about not watching this movie,

yet I left the channel there once I saw it was on.

I guess it was time.

I found this story about Muslim reaction to the film.

My eyes watered for the first time during these three films when I read this quote:

"On 9/11, I was working at a high-tech firm and I wasn't wearing a hijab," Ibrahim said. "Now I'm wearing a hijab and dedicating myself to preventing people from trying to ruin the name of my faith."



I believe in truth

The Hamburg Cell

still a hard watch; interesting.

still, just an approximation on a possible, though imagined truth.


Then Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee comes on.


Earlier, I watched Cry Freedom for the first time.


Wow.


addendum: AND United 93 is on.

damn

remind me I'm supposed to say something important here.

Lebron James quote (and bonus rant)

"I believe we have a team that can win a championship - and I stressed
that from the beginning... We just got beat by a better team".

Now, quick - count the milliseconds it took you to see the crevasse du
logique in that statement.

why do they torture these children by putting microphones in front of them?

Good news basketball lamenters, the 2007 and1 mixtape tour starts this
weekend in Coney Island.

Thank you SA, for doing as expected and ending this ASAP (well, except
for that game clock situation from game 1).

Congratulations to David Stern for successfully bleeding the life out of
the league, yet somehow managing to have the blame fall on the players.

Congrats to the players association for the lockout ten years ago that
gave the league a cliff to throw itself off of.

Is it possible to have NBA transactions without actually having an NBA
season?

Eyes do rollll.

(sigh)

I think I'm a little concerned

with how appreciative I am of Grandma's Boy.

natural suppliment

I purposely avoided all the OTHER potential titles of this post for the sake of journalistic integrity.

With that said,

read

8 /

Wanna get really pissed off?

Sad?

Watch Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee

Of course, if you don't feel any of that, well - that prolly says something, too.

Remember, Hollywood's job is illusion. In it's most ambitious intent, it's success at truth will always be....arguable.

August Schellenberg has a beautiful voice.

Aliens3

What happened to the well-acted sci-fi horror/suspense films?

Up through #3 the Alien/s line was pretty well done, but think the performances in 1 & 3 stand out. 2 & 4 were more about the effects/action/gore. Plus Aliens had to deal with the acting burden of one William Paxton.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

So, now that I haven't been working for the past week, I finally took time to try and watch some of the movies on the 20-some-odd HBO's and Cinemaxes that came with the switch to digital cable...


Have you ever seen a movie that you wished made you cry?

I mean you're actually sitting there, unconsciously holding you're eyes wide open so something will come out? With that feeling in your chest that reminds you why we speak of "affairs of the heart" even though it all happens in the head?

Because the joint just hit something dead-square-center-on the nail expressing your past experience?

Somehow it seems as though getting older should cause things to fall further from the truth as you finally see what it is,

Instead you see more and more how much of our experience is shared.

Pasty

It's a beautiful first-full-week-of-May day outside and I'm sitting in my darkish room, fooling around with Fedora 6 (now that I finally have the hard drive space, it'd be nice to find a distro that'll start my sound and let me config to 1024x768).

Ok, it's back up to the install portion, so I'm going to try to escape before it gets to a point where it needs my input again...

Anti-Occupation Mouse

wow

(text below cut pasted from above link)

Hamas 'Mickey Mouse' preaches resistance

Posted 6h 52m ago | Comments 88 | Recommend 11

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Enlarge AP An image taken from Al-Aqsa TV, a station run by Hamas, shows a giant black-and-white Mickey Mouse lookalike rodent named "Farfour," who spreads the message of armed resistance.

GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip (AP) — Hamas militants have enlisted a figure bearing a strong resemblance to Mickey Mouse to broadcast their message of Islamic domination and armed resistance to their most impressionable audience — children.

A giant black-and-white rodent — named "Farfour," or "butterfly," but unmistakably a rip-off of the Disney character — does his high-pitched preaching against the U.S. and Israel on a children's show each Friday on Al-Aqsa TV, a station run by Hamas. The militant group, sworn to Israel's destruction, shares power in the Palestinian government.

"You and I are laying the foundation for a world led by Islamists," Farfour squeaked on a recent episode of the show, which is calledTomorrow's Pioneers.

"We will return the Islamic community to its former greatness, and liberate Jerusalem, God willing, liberate Iraq, God willing, and liberate all the countries of the Muslims invaded by the murderers."

Children call in to the show, many singing Hamas anthems about fighting Israel.

FIND MORE STORIES IN: Israel | Israeli | Palestinian | Gaza Strip | Hamas | Gaza City | Palestinian territories | Mickey Mouse | Al-Aqsa

Palestinian Media Watch, an Israeli organization that monitors Palestinian media, said the Mickey Mouse lookalike takes "every opportunity to indoctrinate young viewers with teachings of Islamic supremacy, hatred of Israel and the U.S., and support of 'resistance,' the Palestinian euphemism for terror."

Israeli officials denounced the program Tuesday.

David Baker, an official in Prime Minister Ehud Olmert's office, said "there is nothing comic about inciting young generations of Palestinians to hate Israelis."

A spokeswoman from Walt Disney Co.'s headquarters in Burbank, Calif., did not immediately return messages asking for comment about the use of the Disney-like character.

Yehia Moussa, a Hamas leader in the movement's Gaza Strip base, denied inciting children against Jews. "Our problem is not with the Jews. Our problem is with the (Israeli) occupation and the occupiers," he said.

The television station would not comment.

A Gaza-based psychologist said the program proved that the culture of glorifying violence had penetrated mainstream society in the Palestinian territories, where dreams of Islamic dominion and animosity toward the U.S. and Israel are widespread.

"It's the fault of both (Israel and the Palestinians)," said Samir Zakkout, of the Gaza Community Mental Health Program. "There's been a collapse of values. If I can kill my enemy, I can kill my brother."

The program is opposed by the Palestinian Broadcasting Corp., which is controlled by Hamas' political rival — the Fatah movement of Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas.

"I don't think it's professional or even humane to use children in such harsh political programs," said Basem Abu Sumaya, head of the Palestinian Broadcasting Corp. "Children's nationalist spirit must be developed differently."

Hamas loyalists launched the Al Aqsa satellite channel last year. Bearded young men read the news and Islamic music is layered over footage of masked militants firing rockets into Israel. The channel also broadcasts talk shows, programs about the disabled and cartoons.

In addition, Hamas loyalists run at least five news websites, one newspaper — launched just last week — and a radio station.

Top Cat

is, by far, the best of the classic Hanna-Barbera primetime programs. I'm currently leaning toward Herculoids for the best Saturday morning faire.

yarg

Right now I'm Watching an episode of Johnny Quest entitled:

"Pursuit of the Po-Ho"

indeed.

Drug Harm Ranking System

Interesting story here from Britain about ranking the danger level of recreational drugs.

I feel like an ass.....

I'm tired of having to negotiate the complications of the male ego... interpersonal expectations/male-female dynamics.

I met a lesbisan couple tonight who've been together for over 30 years.

They just seem to fit each other. The were merely together...in whatever the sense of the word was before it took on the euphamism of whatever it now euphamizes. They just seemed to be existing.

I wish I could just exist.

Without the physical urges influenced by the emotional need and the emotional urges controlled by the physical need of the emotion compounded by the desire....

I wish I could be this ideal, compassionate, infinitely sympathetic/empathetic->empathic being,

Who fed only off the fruit of new/additional existences.

The juice of the next individual humanity to come along.

The wine of intimate understanding of a mind.

Not some crazy sci-fi/fantasy-essence vamparism *ish.......

But one who is sustained by the sharing, the exchange.

Then maybe i could walk down the damn street without staring at asses,

and appreciate the bounty of each sentience I come across,

and not risk >>>>ing up the experience by >>>>ing them and then >>>>ing up their self-ness

by >>>>ing someone else.


(how does one shrug in Nederlands?)

Slow, Look, Lean

Earlier this month I determined that I would get my "M" endorsement this year. After perusing TX's flexibility toward out of state license holders and having found alternatives to New York state's high class costs, I will be enrolling in an MSF class in April.


Feel free to start planning my surprise graduation party now.

Retail strategy

You should probably be real careful about opening a boutique

if you made your name designing for the

emperor

who wore no clothes.

Losing one's job

does not absolve one of the eventuality of realizing one's potential.

I'm so racial

from a photo shoot I was "apart" this past september...

I'm at this photo shoot for Wal-Mart. All of the photography/hair/makeup crew is black. The wardrobe designer is tawny...perhaps latina. The manager of the studio is black. The reps from the client are black. All talent is black (not a grand surprise).

The irony? The caterers are white.

Or maybe it isn't.

draft

{continue}

So, now, I have to do this self re-evaluation thing,
well, I don't know if you did, 'cuz I mean the situations aren't completely the same, I acknowledge that, but...

I have to step back, stay away from, take some time to understand because the words I seem to have been gifted with only seem to function when I'm speaking of a situation outside of self -

for the better part of 18 years I was great in self-reflective commentary, but now...

the only time I seem to be able to have the words come out is during/after being with someone who being there with complicates the truth of being with them while I'm saying it.

(rambleramble)

(sigh)

wait...

{wait}

{self-re-evaluation}

I do the same things over again.
I repeat.
I say the same things over again.
I repeat.

(dammit)

{candor}

I felt compelled to go see her, while I was home. I felt like I should offer the chance for her to ask her questions. I felt ready to talk. I felt I wanted to see that she was doing ok, moving on*.

(*a major part of moving on is for her to not see you, dumbass)

and I then I thought about that thing. That thing she let me do. That thing she liked to do.
And I got excited...
And I sighed deeply...
And I concentrated...
And I bared down....
And I exhaled...
Until the thought of that thing went away.

and for a minute that thing made me feel I shouldn't go.

Then I thought I shouldn't let that thing keep us from the wealth of virtuous reasons why we should speak/return/reattempt co-existence.

And I went there.
And it was going well,
And it seemed like it was ok...

And I was preparing to part ways......

And the opportunity arose....
And I did what I always do:

Repeat.

Back. Forth. Back. Forth.

repeat

(exhale 1)

{preamble}

(sigh)

(painpainpain)

(ramblerambleramble)

Shange's skill seems unfathomable until you realize she's just taken the time to mold the thoughts that the rest of us let slip away,

or maybe you're too busy signifying / or scrunching yr face
trying to figure out what to figure out
what the hell she's talking
abt.

(sigh)

{begin}

I understand now...
Why you wouldn't/couldn't call/return my calls...
I understand the feeling of unworthiness
the feeling of having violated something...

somewhat similar in that, technically, there was no promise made,

no "i'm yours-your mine" verbal contract that could be held up in the court of Jerry Springer or girls vs. boys houseparty arguments

but there's still something. that something. like that middle/high school knowing that it's just not right to kiss someone new when/while you've already kissed someone else.

that act.
that decision that takes place in your brain to commit and act with your body that causes an emotional response

} i.e.: circuitry {

letting down of guard, the vulnarability, the openess, the willingness

and the point at which you realize yo shit done scabbed over and you start taking advantage of others who are still virgin to the emotio-sexual zombification that other 85% walk around in...

I'm sorry, that wasn't about you.
but maybe it applies...anyway

yeah.

(blink)

I understand now.
Not wanting to talk to. To see.

No -

Not having the privilege of getting to talk to.
Not having the privilege of getting to see.

Not feeling worthy of the dedication. Moreso now than before.

[open paraphrase]

i only do this with you

[close]

yeah...

it's not quite the same situation,
but still.

I saw the child and she half hid behind a doorway and I like-to-died,
just stopped breathing voluntarily.
the cuteness was unbearable.
she was happy to see.
happy to see...

(sigh)

so,
yeah,

I understand. It's not exactly the same situation....
the stakes not quite as high, I suppose,

I've experienced the sensation of the decision in that moment.

not that I haven't had the moment before, but this time the perspective is different.

but still,
I see it,

I understand the not wanting to say...
I understand the not wanting to hurt...

yeah, all of that.

I hope the three of you are all doing well. Dap little dude for me. Maybe one day tell him I was ready to take him as mine.

Maybe don't tell him. Probably not.

Anyway.

peace

dammit

I have something I need to say and I came home determined to say it but made the mistake of talking to a friend and now I'm blocked.

my fault for not using the pda on the boat.

(shrug)

Lust

I have had a novel's worth of things that I should have said here over the past month or so, yet I choose to take the opportunity to say that I want this.

I've obsessed over this over the past week or two, and I'm very close to making an ill-advised purchase. My problems in this area have been recently covered.

I asked for a bicycle, and took care of that myself. This time it's somebody else's turn.

Although I am determined to take the MSF at some point this year and right it off as training.

Doll Test 2007

Remember hearing about that doll test waaaay back when that main evidence behind the case against segregation in schools during that 15 minutes of Black history you had back in high school? Of course you don't.

Watch this.

It's short.

(edit: link to movie now goes directly to media matters site. thnks, m.)

I wonder if 50 Cent

knows this.

Breath, stretch, and....hate

Given an automotively based example of "hating" that I recently gave:

On an episode of MTV Cribs, the Game lauds one the virtues of his custom Dodge Charger: A/C controls in the glovebox. A smooth panel seemed to replace them in their previous location on the center console.

Now, please, feel free to explain...

What good does it do to have the A/C buttons/knobs in the glovebox while you're in the driver's seat?

(raises eyebrow)

(waits)

(shakes head)

Whatever.

I will recognize that there was a 12 cyl. motor in the car. At least that serves the purpose of go-fast.

I Did VO for

Rockstar Games project today. Yeah THAT Rockstar games.

A couple lines had "n-word" edited out. But the character I was voicing was supposed to be nerdy, so I don't know if it was because of that or the producers thought better. My suggestion of "buppie" was used instead...

(concern)

I know I said something to a hooker; my lines were turning down a proposition. I also delivered some where I was directed that I was talking to a girl in a club. These, of course, could be used as solicitations for a hooker.

I was hoping it was for something out of their usual vein.

...had a couple BS and f-bomb lines.

Can't really say, but I have a not-good feeling about it.

Far from the first mistake this week.

Thus, have I returned.

And with such a burden to bear.

The devil works best when it only needs to sit back and watch.

I want

this.

It's not right how much I want this,
but I'm hoping that admitting how much I want this
will help me get over so very much wanting this.

God don't condone lust (in all it's forms).


(ay, mami....)

Brak

I was just sitting up watching clips at Adult Swim when I came across this, the best Brak episode ever and probably what got me watching AS regularly. I was thinking the shine might have worn off since it's a few years old, but it is still absolute jocular perfection.

And it features a pre-Gnarls Cee-Lo cameo,
and those are always fun.

If I have to explain it, well... Just relax and let it be.

It helps a little to be a hip-hop fan.

You are aware that Nas has declared h-h dead, no?

If so, it has been a long, painful illness and it is better off so.

But we might need to come up with a new name for what the Roots do.

Addenedum: this ep is from '02 or '03 (as in: pre-8 mile) - can deny not it's genius.

Carry on.

Additionalendum: It probably also helps if you've seen the Brak show before...at least enough to appreciate how much better this is than most episodes. Or, well - I mean, um,

just watch it.

(braceurself)

Home...is this conundrum beating me into sub-missionary position that withers my wherewithal an desensitizes my unusual sensitivity,

where I devolve further into the stasis of stagnative placidity

that I journeyed here to reinvigorate myself out of.

Iron-ic that the dwelling of they who forged the Ogun in me seems to be the perfect quench for his sun-hot bellows.

I left that place where I "work", that room I loathe for its muckish drag on spirit,
that small altar to the great, fetid clutter of my mind

and find

the same

here.

And so

I've done

the same

thing I'd

do there:

dormire.

All those to whom I tie my desire to pro-ceed are here, yet, they all seem to aid me in famil(y)ar pacific activity.

Why.

Why save me through 26 hours of persistence to see this.

Why do I not bare the witness of grand, electric, fiery inspiration?

or at least cross the street to speak to the neighbors.

Perhaps I am being introduced to the truth that I have only to be a great man's son -
not need, not will, not choice...

Elegba toils his deeds through me........and now takes his gleeful feast on my plight.

This house haunts, harrows....does not heal as expected.

Trudge all you want from your terror,
the water is as wet and the mud is as heavy here as it is at home.

The Uncle Ruckus gets

shot at by the police ep of Boondocks is on Adult Swim right now. I wonder if this airing has anything to do with 50 shots.

You mean you haven't seen

this yet?

Women, this is what you do to us..

and you learn how to do it at a young age.

Call the cop

Artist - Thing One

Song - "Life on Broad"

cop dat.

The Banana Dance

Am I the only person currently living that has a problem with Josephine Baker bouncing around Europe nekkid?

"i have nothing to complain about...

...life is just full of inconveniences; and the sooner that i accept that, the better off i'll be. at least my life is filled with inconveniences, instead of full-on tragedies."


posted by pearbooty elsewhere in the blogoverse

Auditioned for a play

yesterday... a callback actually,

connected to the material,

(really appreciated my scene partner..beautiful actress...vulnerable)

for a part that I don't really think I like

(shiftless negro breaks yet another Black woman's heart).

Trying desperately to not think about what I didn't do in audition that may have kept me from getting the part.

Did I mention I don't really like the character?

This job sucks.

MAN, I want that job.

:#

Tokyo Godfathers

Yeah, whatever. I know you don't like anime, subititles or cartoons in general.

Just rent/buy/checkout this. (NYPL has it)

Don't worry, there aren't any robots, spaceships, or monsters shaped like giant genitalia.

It is, however, better than 90% of the movies you've seen.

Everything tastes better animated.

(for the past two years, I had the title of this post incorrectly title with "Grandfathers"...1.29.09)

BWAHAAAHHAA

HAAAAHAAHAAAA

List of Ethnic Slurs

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wop

Interesting....

I am currently depressed

because my last 3 auditions have gone without callbacks,

particularly the last one for a play that I would have very much liked to have been invovled with and would've given my brother a chance to see me perform.

efil si hcus

Truth in Gaming

click

Huey P. Newton

was born 30 miles from
where I grew up.

I absolutely never knew that.

Find Jesus, find your game...

St. Peter as a fashion statement...

There's more to them NBA'ers then ya'll wanna give credit.

Read

Strange dreams

I had a dream last night of a news report that a two year old committed suicide with a gunshot to the temple.

I'm in a funky mood today.

Things bode not well.

hm.

I just emailed a question to Barack Obama

on Larry King Live:

"How much experience/knowledge do you have in moving the country toward
electric vehicles, particularly for individual & short distance travel?

Do you take seriously at all that large oil companies "actively
discourage" automakers from developing and marketing electric vehicles?"

Didn't get it in until 5 minutes left in the show. Wish I had started watching it earlier....

my pseudo-journalistic pseudo-journalism, yet again, goes to waste.

(raspberry)

why is it

only one o'clock.

(sigh)

skintone

read some more.

'cuz you could always use more proof.

Kola Boof

What? You didn't know Osama Bin Laden had a Black girlfriend?

read.

'cuz you know you need proof.