(for the previous)

....or maybe it's just Spring. 

elevation

I'm unsure why, but I feel slightly high/giddy (?) today.

Some sensation or...palpable metaphorical (warmth?) from under my sternum...

I don't know why. 

Lastnight spoke to Brother-in-arts...he seemed to approve part of my decision to (try to) reach out to elders I haven't seen in

decades...despite having been back close to them for decades. 

maybe part of a broader relaxation.  /decision

I think I also felt this somethingish yesterday after some exercise.. in the sun.....

some feeling of doing the right thing/making the right choice

after dwelling on the personal determination that so many 

(all?)

have been bad since - 

<hm.>

since I've been allowed to make decisions ? 

 

decades are a blink.  i think i feel like we should get more time. ___

[in

..

aooooouuuuuuuuuuut....] 

cost

i feel like i have spent a lot of emotional energy over the past week.

i fell off my motorcycle

well, down

with it.

(tweaked knee, had knee checked. knee is ok)

bikeknee is part of it, but not it.

looking at old things...helpful in some ways....

had an     affect.    affects.         

some feels.   much feels     big

some perspective         sseemed like some forgiveness        sometimes

but    maybe read too much

too long       too late

too late

tired

tired

(tried?)

poor little heart scattered in too many places

*too obtuse to get old references

and i wish google ai would stop trying to fix this.

I just got a scam email written as a PSA about scam emails.

(sigh)

Earth needs an enema. 

i shouldn't have looked those pictures

Writhing 

Shuddering

wishing i cld crawl out of my own skin

missing

not recognizing 

wishing you wld call

        or you

or you

            or you

or y

Rebbie

It is at this point in history that I have listened to Rebbie Jackson's album Centipede for the first time.

And it is also the first time that I understand for what "centipede" is a maetaphor in the song "Centipede".

Amazingly, almost the whole album is like that.