Last night I tried to finish watching a film that I started but stopped several times out of either flagging momentary interest or lack of regard for the attempt (one actor portraying multiple identical siblings).
I tried again last night (this morning) and got as far as a child twin being traumatically injured.
(broken finger tip hanging by soft tissue)
at that point I elected to stop watching.
(and even coming up with a description just now churned some physiological response)
Later I tried to watch again and, when a butcher knife came out because all of the siblings had to remain identical, I gave up for good...and had the strongest physical reaction of the evening - butterflyquesiness.
Interesting that the worst came from an idea, not the actual gore.
then. today.
I went outside. Walker to the end of the driveway, I noticed something in the street. That something ended up being a cat killed by a vehicle.
I thought of calling Animal Control or the city to come dispose of the remains, but I decided to take it upon myself. My mother had left and I wanted it to be gone before she noticed.
So, I dug a hole, put on a disposable glove, removed the cat. It had happened very recently. There appeared to be no signs of other animals scavenging. It must have happened during the day because no other vehicle appeared to strike it.
And while I felt something, it didn't really compare to what I felt watching the movie. I felt bad for the cat (this is the second time I have buried a young, black feline near our house). I felt revolted at the movie.
I don't know if I could have picked it up if I had seen it happen...
as stated elsewhere, something has changed. I never used to have such strong reactions...or maybe I just spent too much time avoiding disturbing things...but gore in films definitely never affected my this much before.
maybe it's my biological clock.
(shrug)
