the o - fishul .....!...................

(huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaauuuuugh)


I am currently stuck in a moment of intertia again.


I really don't want to be anyone's employee again, but it is hard to settle on a personal business because they all seem to involve remaining in one place.

As is also the case with ideas about being involved in local gov't.

As is somewhat the case with contributing the local arts.

I don't know if it's "can't make my mind up" or "won't".



There may be a certain amount of the same as what happened when I lived in New York:


I have little-to-no-money and no current gig so I don't venture out because that costs money.


maybe.

dunno.


but, you know,

feelings.

you know?


I have an online course to work on.

I have some book study to do.

(which have been interesting in that the information in the two subjects have already converged some)


I just find it massively hard to work on them...despite not really having anything else to do.


it's hard.

it's hard without a partner.

or a family?

or a dog?


Or something.




I'm also trying to learn-myself how to draw.

But the Left Brain is strong in this one.


I am, at this moment, wondering if the will is lefty or righty.


I do things for free and travel long distances to do them just to feel useful,
and then I feel like I've got some energy and momentum and focus
and it doesn't go anywhere.

Anywhere.

any where.

any

an

a

ere

here

where.


(sigh)



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