"I've seen you die a hundred times. I'll see a hundred more. I can't hope anymore."

 

 

 

(pretty sure this is the timetraveling mom from ST:DISCOVERY)

"Plan and prepare for every possibility

  and you will never act. It is nobler to have courage as we stumble into half the things we fear than to analyze every possible obstacle and begin nothing.

 Great things are achieved by great embracing dangers.

hey, look. THE EXPANSE season 5 ep 2 (by way of Xerxes?) just laid out the kind of military philosophy that someone who gets all of their information from social media might take out of context and use for a useful approach to intercontinental engagement strategy.

Watch "Mariposa" on YouTube

https://youtu.be/HMcFR0OTlKA 

 In roughly the past month, 

 two members of my family have passed away.

One, after a years-long chronic health problems.

The other more recent (so far as I am aware)

One I was prepared for, the other not as much.

These were not Covid-19 deaths.

 

(Oh, I haven't told you about getting to experience to the modern American sociopolitical unrest and worldwide health crisis in the same year?)

That said...

I am tired of it. I am tired from it. I was tempted to say embarrassed but that's not it.

I have felt a tinge of cowardice that I did not...could not...was not in the position to take the.. a leadership role..in going to these funerals and being in the vicinity physically for bereaved family members....

And this is not to make some declaration about how one should feel.

This is not to say that I don't think the decision to remain in place is correct.

This is just to say how it felt...express the emotion.

To say that I am tired. To say how disappointed I am...that lives were not able to be celebrated the way they should be.

that's all. i think.

I am glad my uncle is no more pain. I feel like my aunt should have made it to 90+.

i don't know.

I really wish I had something concise, coherent and poetic to say about it. I don't.

"Those who have a home to return to..."

Midnight Diner, s.3 e.2

 https://www.insider.com/native-american-offensive-racist-things-2020-1

"i didn't know how to love someone or to allow them to love me. My insecurities were suffocating me."

a half human from A Whisker Away.

T.

Somewhere in history,

(someone will claim)

there has been one taller 

or stronger

or lighter

or more capable of stopping stupid in its tracks

with a firm stance askance

with firm fists on hips

with elbows locked on the enemy

foolishness

at a moments notice

at an immediate shift from humor

on a dime turned on a country laugh

a gaze weened on a matriarchy

practicing itself  on elevenortwelve siblings,

And this simply will not be able to be - 

because this individual will not have been

the one

the only

the indomitable

Erma

Lee

.

Radiolab - Deception

http://www.wnycstudios.org/story/91612-deception/ 

Watch "Bakradze - Quiet Loop" on YouTube

https://youtu.be/Fk_dU1tzWRQ