endurance.

I find that, rather than becoming more patient, I am becoming more sensitive to feeling dehumanized, unseen or disrespected...as well as more sensitive to situations where I am not self-sufficient.


embarrassed, I guess, is a word,

if not "the".


which I suppose is what happens when more of this thing called time passes...and there are more and more ppl in positions to...


that will have the opportunity to...


subordinate you?


or to whom you will be subordinate.



one of the hard parts about not building wealth...or how to build self-sufficiency without dealing with currency.


I propose that a great deal of the "unrest in the world today" stems from that.

from grown-ups who don't feel like they are sufficiently grown-up...or respected as such...


or allowed to act as such...on their own terms.



as society chases money, those that have seem to get younger and younger....



so. I'm losing patience. even in a situation where I should likely be subordinate.

it's hard not to say/think "you don't know...I was doing (insertx,y,z)  before you were even a spark...whodoyouthinkyouaretalkingto"



   and I also propose that it's all harder when you have no one to remind you to do...and to remind you it will be ok....and to listen so it's processed in the air instead of processed in your gut.

a gut that's worked a lifetime saving your life..

and begins, at some point, to not be able to deal with all that sh.......


  hm.

  (inhale)

  (ex).