i just tried to play a series of brain exercise games.
And i noticed difficulty following fast moving objects or tracking more than one.
And i noticed i was holding my breath when I couldn't track or understand the game
And my anxiety increased when i heard the "wrong answer" sound
And trying to breathe more deeply/with more intention didn't help
And several wrongs in a row caused a feeling in my ...solar plexus?
A not-good(?) tingling (?)
it's hard to deal with conflict
and it's hard to deal with duplicity
And it's hard to deal with failure
with losing
and there's a feeling like nausea
except for the soul
the self
I'm going to lose
I'm going to lose
it.
it hurts.
I'm hurt
I was hurt
I'm tired
I want to go home
I have no home
I have to shut my eyes
I covered my eyes
I had to stop
I had to put it down
I had to stop
I put it down...and closed my eyes...and my breath came back to me.
I just sighed.
I am going to play something different now.
:-|
