Chaka Khan - Like Sugar (Official Video)

the kind of thing that may have happened had someonewhoshallremainnameless submitted that NYU film school applications manymany years ago.

So, yeah, I went to a museum yesterday.

I should probably talk more about that, but what strikes me now is noticing a continued pattern and wondering:

What is it about me that causes people to think I know things.

This is not an attempt at self-praise (or indirect compliment fishing)..

Or maybe it is?

There is a way that I am that I suspect is not fully un-intentional in certain places that causes people to think I know something.

Maybe it was because I was by myself…and I present an image of someone who wouldn't be there alone unless employed there?

I thought it may have been because I was dressed similarly to the staff….but I wasn't.

Although the actual tour guide/docent folks did seem to not be wearing the red shirts of the (seeming) orderly staff.

(folks who were saying "don't touch", giving directions, etc)

So. That.

Debating on whether to go back today. Or to church.

(shrug)

 

That glorious, intricately detailed dream that includes such a number of insecurities that you're not sure just how much your sub-conscious just read you.

 

Featuring that crush from grade school

 

An award show?

 

People who look like you that do what you do (did..)

 

Very likely other things.

 

Jordan Peele!

 

"award shows are marketing"

 

Oddly missing wedding bands…

 

 

Somewhat odd how much the whole thing looked like a film.

 

 

 

Also…I pretty much just slept for 12 hours. Alls I did yesserday was walk around a museum for 6 hours. Maybe it was the motorcycle ride?

My mother should have been an artist.

I'm still trying to find a way to tell her she still can be.

At a play With a cast full of persons of color,

And written by a dark brown man with locked hair down his back,

 

All of the persons of color in the audience are on the fringes.

Yet another lesson in saying Yes too help.

I'm still recovering, so this will be brief.

 

I just realized I've had another firm smack from life saying "accept gratitude".

Last night I went for a ride. It was a bit cool, but not bad and only should have been about 40 miles round trip.

I headed out, had a fairly glorious time, found some places to go back to. However, I was Waaaaaaaaaay in the woods and it was getting progressively colder. There was a place I could have stopped and begged mercy, I didn't.

 

In short I shuddered for an extra 30/40 miles back to campus.

 

I also ate some microwave food. Boo. People were getting on my nerves in the house. I bitched. Karma.

 

So I passed out knowing id feel It in the morning. And I did, just fatigue though. I watched some flix and got up to move things into new apartment.

 

I did not eat.

 

As I did this, I met my new roomies. They are fine folk and offered to help with bags. I let them take my two crates.

 

In the interim I started to realize I hadn't eaten and the sun was bright, but I kept chugging. I finished taking everything else out in one trip.

 

On the way into the new place, one of the roomies offered again and I said not thanks (they were cooking), then other offered again and I sad no.

 

THEN I was offered food.

 

I said no.

 

Not long later: sugar crash. Probably with a touch of sunstroke.

 

 

Had I just said "yes". I probably could have been productive for another 3 hours today. It did lead to some thought about art, though.

 

I hear pain is good for that.

 

:-/

 

Rocks and hard places.

During the drive yesterday. I listen to a podcast about a young guy who wanted to be a coal miner. And they got me thinking to some things I've been thinking about the 4 about people who actually want to call mine and why you would want to make the choice to do something dangerous and dangerous to the environment. It seems to me that some of the people who want to do that with some of the same ones who always wanted access to natural beauty. And it didn't make sense to me.

 

And while thinking about it yesterday. I think it occur to me that there was something this are old and physical about that desire. There was a need to do something where you actually felt a change in yourself or filter change and something else. And in that moment, it seems similar to why I chose to act because I needed to do something that was physical that was a physical act instead of just mental encerie, which is my habit.

 

Well, just now while driving through central Pennsylvania. I started to think about why somebody would want to be a coal miner again. I think the thought came back to me because I saw a city named Frackville. And. I got to wondering again. Why would people do something that they know destroyed permanently destroyed a piece of the earth? How could you be OK doing that? Judic Oertzen me that also common among those people is a no fundamental Christian belief that there is a here. After that there's a heaven and that there is going to be in Armageddon and the Raptor.

 

And maybe what's going on is that they don't give you the consumption of the Earth as an Ender. Even the destruction of the Earth as an end because they believe there going somewhere better regardless. 

 

And there is a fundamental difference between him and what is common amongst I suppose common amongst other people who are very much into environmentalism in and conservation is that their those people think in terms of the planet. Existing continuing to exist for millions and billions of years. I assume they also tend to not think in terms of Armageddon or Rapture. They think in terms of something that needs to stay for generations to come and that being nice to be able to sustain generations to come.

 

For the people who want to call my drill oil land. Do all these other things that is permanently utilizing the resources maybe they just use the entire planet as that just a resource. Nothing put here for them to use and simply a thing that will be gone. Once they are going on to something better.

 

Or something like that.

It is a sad day when one sees the light of a firefly

flare

And fade

Forever

On one's own windshield.

"To be alone is to be in pain."

from Robot Carnival