Amazing.

 A week and change ago, I said this.

Just now, while reading a script I'm mighty darn certain I'm going to make myself available to audition for, I read this (paraphrased):

Perhaps it is messy. Maybe it can just be that, and can be in it together!

Egad, children.

Egad.

Coincidence of the evening

Well, there's probably a better word than that.

Serendipity?

Ok...

So, I started reading the authorized biographic graphic novel of Nelson Mandela. A section on his early life recounts him being confronted with being leader at school and whether he should report a fellow leader for breaking rules. A thought bubble summarizes the predicament, ''who will guard the guardians''.

Interesting to me since I had two copies of what is often called the greatest graphic novel of all time sitting on my trunk. It's theme, repeated in backgrounds throught the series is ''WHO WATCHES THE WATCHMEN''.

One wonders if that was on purpose...

Theory #(who knows)

So, in the past I've had this thought...

That people who are ''taken'' have been because they figured out whatever it is we're supposed to learn about life while we're here...

Thus why ol' folks so often seem cool with ''leaving''. It's because they've got it, know they do, and know why they have to move on to whatever is next.

But I wouldn't call that a revolutionary idea.

But I've also theorized that people who are ''taken early'' are people who figured it out early, so they got to leave early. Or maybe it's a talent thing. They were called up (sic) due to extraordinary ability; needed elsewhere and the rest of us aren't ready/haven't earned the right to know what they know....

(you think LeBron could fade that?)

And maybe,

maybe that's what happens to youth, children, babies.

Can you imagine that? A being, not even able to walk or having situated thought and action enough to be able to speak coming, by happenstance or probability, the thought simply, universally, compulsorily true that God looks down and says,

"yes, you got it. Come Home."

Though, maybe that means there are those who are taken that are so confused, clouded that, not only will they never arrive at it, they so interrupt the path of those around them that they must be removed...

The cosmic referree keeping watch over and keeping in balance advatntage and disadantage; removing thosel with too much to give and those who take too much.

Maybe, the end of the world is just when mankind finally progresses past man.

(shrug)

a baby miscarrying after being there for a weeks, not even a month, because she's already figured it ou.

Imagine that.

The Last Man: The Deluxe Ed. Book Two

Is the first time reading the front leaf mad me say "wow".

Just got pulled over

for "speeding".

I translated as "out of state license plate at 5am".

I guess 3 unis getting out of an unmarked is ''necessary".

Heard what sounded like southern LA to me.

I love being used as "practise".

My current definition of "married couple"

Two people who've gone through some sh!t together, who realize that - together - they can get through some sh*t.

Wind is not merely air.

It is air that is moving.

Since starting with this acting thing,

When I tell people that I'm an actor, I'll often hear something to the effect of it being ''my dream''.

Wanna hear a secret?

It's not my dream. I've known this since the first time I heard it characterized as such. I guess it can be for others, but I can't see how it could be.

Have you ever seen a dream? They're huge. Acting? A dream?

It's too small.

SO. Since I figured out what it isn't, I began putting some thought into what it is.

I think I've stated here before that I once wanted to save Black people.

Eventually, thad grew into wanting to be a superhero when I grow up. I just wantBut, I don't think I thought of that in terms of being a dream.

Maybe it's because I thought of ''a dream'' as being something more tangible, active.

Or, maybe, I thought ''dream'' to be something more fantastic.

(shrug)

So, here we are at ''now''.

Hm.

And I think I may have figured out what my ''dream'' might be.

...

I want to be elemental,

a force of nature,

the literal and figurative embodiment of the penultimate singularity: Creation.

I want to be a sentient Act of God.

(inhale)
(exhale)
(inhale)
(exhale)

...

(BOOM)
ex to save everybody. That was only a few years ago, by the way.

At this moment,

I'm contemplating beung the one who always knows what should be said, what should-have-been-said

and still being the one who doesn't just go ahead say it

(slash)

why won't I just go ahead and say it?

"And the of it truth is....

...the truth of it is I don't need the rest of those yahoos to do the class project."


From Powers: Roleplay, Image Comics.

Hilarious to me since I am currently - and just got through thinking about - doing a class project.


(heh)

What I Think Theatre Should Be About

(5 min writing exercise during a class this past monday)

"
Truth. . . or the apparent lack thereof. Something that happens in the actual realm of reality wherein any good physicist realizes we actually have no real concept of the bounds of possiblity.

I think it should be about earth.
And Dirt.
And all the stuff Joni Jones said people only think Us is.
And the rest of the stuff in school.
And everything that isn't.

"

Afronaught - now or never

(click)

word.

So, this high-schooly/college-ish girl

next to me on the boat took her saddle-colored oxford off to be re-stringed.

And either it, her lapiz socked tootsie or BOTH

are kickin it rather corny.

I really world like to enjoy my kati roll.

But I'd also like to taste it without the added flavor.

Oh! It's back on!

So, carry on.

(Iss on)

How I do wish I could just sit here and read this manga, and not think anymore about projects/assignments/whatever.

Within the past hour,

I have wondered if acting should exist for me as a form of exercise; choose something else as a vocation.

To have all this passion, yet nothing I feel passionately about to want to do seems strange.

Wasted.

I wonder why I wasn't born in one of this places where I'd be too busy just trying to survive for any of this to matter.

Or, maybe, the challenge for me is to decide to go.

I really don't want to hear any more about my potential.
Not because of embarrassment or guilt;
it just doesn't help me use it.

I know my potential.
I know people glow when I pass them.
I know I am the walking endowment of the singularity called the Big Bang,
I know I contain the explosion that created the universe.

I am beginning to try to own what I can bring,
still wondering,
what to do with it,

(before it's too late?)

“Your task is not to seek for love,

 but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
--Jalal ad-Din Rumi

I just found out

that the chronically annoying "A-O, A-O" that the tween girls kept wailing in the train yestday comes form a track that came pre-loaded on my N900.

ew.

and delete.

It must be hard being my brain.

I never noticed before, but there's a hurt in truth.

(n/m)